OP, this aggressive bully has been physically/emotionally/financially abusing you.
You’ve written several threads recently detailing your H’s abuse:
*He hit you very hard on your lower back while you were lying in bed on your side. You cried in pain and shock, and went to sleep downstairs. You were still sore the next day when he texted an apology. That wasn’t the first time he’s punched your back. He has also pressed down on your hand so hard when trying to grab your keys that a doctor put a splint on it.
*When your mother won the lottery and gave you £3000, he took all but £300 without your consent to plow into his failing business. You had earmarked the money for other things and had no clue he’d taken it. He was totally unapologetic.
*Your H’s colleague has advertised his new business on FB. Both you and H reposted this to help him, and a friend contacted you about it. You then messaged H’s colleague to give him a
heads-up that your friend would be contacting him. H was furious that you’d messaged his colleague without his permission, and accused you of having an affair with him. Most posters assumed that H was the one having an affair or planning to.
*His shouting and shoving the plate of pasta up to your face is one more example of his contemptuous bullying.
You’ve said that H can also be a charmer, which is so typical of narcissistic abusers.
You and the children are living in a physical and emotional minefield, and they will be damaged by this toxic environment and poor relationship model. It’s likely not a coincidence that your teenage son has participated in bullying a girl and has shown little empathy for her, even though your younger child has been the victim of bullying.
You feel stuck because you’re in a different country, away from your UK family, and can’t legally take the children back to the UK. You also fear financial vulnerability. Can you access support in your country to enable you to separate? Have you sought counseling to clarify your thoughts or contacted a solicitor to investigate your options?
I sincerely hope you can find a way to break away. 