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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried sick about separated wife

3 replies

Shunter350 · 27/02/2022 19:25

Well., this is difficult. After a stressful 25 year marriage I decided to leave. That was about 18 months ago. Then my wife had a breakdown. The really serious type. So I stayed. Then she lost her dad then her best friend. She's had two doses of covid and is now struggling with a throat illness.
I'm on anti depressants and occasionally anti anxiety meds for my marriage.
I finally moved out in November last year.
I keep in touch with my ex, I don't hate her, she's the mother of my kids.. but for my own health I can't live with her.
Tonight she had a breakdown. Said she made a list of who would miss her.
I stayed for a while, held her hand and hugged her.
It's was so hard leaving her like that but I have to or I'll get sucked in and my life will end.
I've contacted the kids and her sister. Just to remind them that she is loved and that life is precious.
Tomorrow I will try and speak to her GP and will take her to a previously arranged gynae appointment.
I'm feeling anxious about my ex. It all triggered with me leaving.
But I'm not going back.

OP posts:
Twowheelsgood · 27/02/2022 20:05

Similar situation in my history (though perhaps not as fraught), and I know other men who have been through the same as you. It seems like you’ve done your best to balance the many conflicting aspects so far. Take care of yourself and don’t forget to stay involved with friends and hobbies that divert your attention towards more regenerative pastimes.

Onthedunes · 27/02/2022 20:22

I think you should get her some help tonight if she is threatening suicide.

Call the Samariatans or the police and inform them you are very worried about her. Have you told her sister what she has been saying?

Shunter350 · 27/02/2022 21:38

@Onthedunes

I think you should get her some help tonight if she is threatening suicide.

Call the Samariatans or the police and inform them you are very worried about her. Have you told her sister what she has been saying?

Yes. Told sisters and kids. I've just phoned her. I've been through worse with her. I'm seeing her first thing tomorrow. My daughter is over there now.
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