please help advice needed

[loxi]

i have had an anonymous not saying my dh is seeing someone

note

what do you think?

this could be someone he turned down being a bitch. Or, it could be someone looking out for you.

i don't know. It was through the post adressed to me but not my name just mrs ..... I have confronted him he says it is rubbish and that this is the woman who does his accounts and he has never even been in her house, just parked and dropped stuff off

DO you have any suspicions at all other than having had this note? Because if not, then it is probably someone being spiteful.
SHow the note to your DH but act as though you know it's someone being spiteful rather than acting as though you know he';s having affairs, suggest that the two of you together try to work out who might be sending you nasty notes, etc. And see how he reacts.

i feel sick

Another thing to consider is whether or not you have reacently fallen out with someone (even if it was over something trivial) and that person is trying to wind you up as a revenge thing.

why would he say that he never been in her house? a bit odd....ask him to swap person that does accounts. he will if what he says is true.

agree with saying you should work it out together who is doing this, and look for his reaction. body language tells alot.

He has been unfaithful before this is why i feel odd, but i really thought we had come through it. My dd saw me reading the note snatched it off me. The person had written a mobile number on it and dd phoned and asked this woman outright are you seeing my dad....... and she said certainly not.

if there was a mobile number on the note can you check your dh's phone and see if the number is in his address book?

I wish i hadnt phoned him straight away so i could have thought about it first and how i would approach it.

he has got the number in there i asked him he says it is under accounts. He told me he has phoned her and told her about my note and she says she has had some trouble with her ex husband and his partner but why would they want to hurt me??

its ok loxi, its just first reactions, especially as you would expect the truth but they're just not like that are they? especially if he has don it before you must be worried.

Check phone bills and emails.

sounds like a story to me, the ex-h wouldnt want to hurt or upset you, if he doesnt even know you would he??

get him to change accountant.

well that is what i thought. Why would they hurt me i don't think i have any enemies either. They knew my dh's name but also her mobile and address so they must know her well

surely if someone sent a note they would put their own phone number on so you could find out the truth. If they put hers on without them knowing then she would be bound to deny it. mmm, there are some very odd people about. Only you can tell if you think dh is lying. are there any other indications that it might be true? Have you met they accountant? Is she alright?

i have said to dh there is no smoke without fire and that i dont feel right about all this and he is acting really angry that i dont believe him

its not unreasonable to want to know if your dh is having an affair, and its not unreasonable to suspect, if you get a note telling you that he is!! Why should he get angry?

Hmm. If the accountant woman's husband is a nasty-minded nut then he may very well have tried to accuse your (innocent) DH. SOme people do like to try and stir up trouble for other people, jsut because they can.
Just because your DH had an affair previously is no guarantee that he is doing it again, and it would be a great shame if you let a malicious liar mess up your relationship. Try to stay as calm as possible.

Well i am not really speaking to him at the moment.

I am really stuck as i have no way of knowing one way or the other

They've had time to get their story straight, madamez is right, stay calm, think this through. Even if you rang the mobile, you probably wouldn't get the truth, so I wouldn't advise this. Where is DH now? Can you talk to him calmly, will he be honest with you (can you tell when he's being dishonest?) Thinking of you.

how are you today?

I have had a note from the accounts person asking me to call her and speak with her and assuring me that nothing is or has ever gone on. She says she would like to get to the bottom of this herself.She had actually called to speak to me but i was still in bed

I'm glad she's rang...
I mean turn it all arround.. what would you do if some accused you wrongly of having an affair... I would want to speak to the wife in person and reassure her that nothing was going on.. and never would be...

She says in the note that she knows how i feel ie thinkin dh havin affair so i presu me it happened to her but then assures me nothing is going on. Then she phoned dh mobile(heis here with me) to try and speak to me again. i just dont know