I've posted a few times about my ex, little background is last year he walked out on me and DC (youngest was 6months) anyway shortly after found out he'd been having an affair. He had a breakdown stopped affair opened up about his mental health being worse than I knew was suicidal, drinking lots (still is and has acknowledged he's an alcoholic) but a functioning one. Anyway we've been living separate but spending time together seeing if we can progress things but he's not been sorting himself out & is still drinking excessively & smoking. In October last year he went out with friends and was up all night and I had a feeling he's been taking drugs, I asked him he denied multiple times so I got a drugs test and then he admitted he'd done a small amount of cocaine and failed the drugs test. On Friday night he went out again and with same friends and I had a gut feeling he may of done it again, he denied but I'd already Amazon primed a test. Que last night, he'd asked to come over for a takeaway. When he was here I asked him again if he'd taken any drugs, he said no so I asked him if he'd do a test as I didn't trust him after last time and needed to see for DCs sake if he was safe to look after them. He immediately said no & got his back up said he'd thought about it during the day because he thought I may ask that and decided he wouldn't do one again as he didn't want to live his life like that and I was only doing it for myself so I had something to throw at him in an argument if he had done it???? Anyway he got very defensive I explained why I wanted him to and why I didn't trust him, and how I don't allow him to look after the kids alone still because of this reason yet surely doing a test would build trust back up if he knows he would pass. I said that if we were separated fully he may have to do drugs tests randomly as I would push for that as I don't trust him to be around DC alone due to his current/past choices and he looked at me and said 'you are a bitch aren't you' and he had threatened to leave a few times during the conversation too, he knows I would normally not want him to leave.
Anyway I stood strong and said that if he wasn't going to do a test then he was to leave and wouldn't be seeing DC for 5 days as that's how long it can take for cocaine to leave his system. I asked for house key back (we jointly own house but don't want him coming and going)
Question...... am I wrong? Over reacting? Keeping DC safe? Opinions please I need a hand hold this morning because he makes out that I'm just the bad guy trying to stop him seeing kids.