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Original poster

Best friend betrayal

22 replies

CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 20:17

Surprised, shocked and hurt.
I told my best friend about an extremely delicate and personal thing that happened to me last year.
I introduced her to one of my friends a few years ago. She's gone and told this friend what happened to me. This has shocked me to the core as this isn't like her at all. I told her that I was really surprised that she'd done that and it wasn't her place to say anything. She seemed so blase about it. I don't think I can get past this.

OP posts:
SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 26/02/2022 20:21

I'm really sorry. That must be horrible.

Googlecanthelpme · 26/02/2022 20:21

Oh I’d be so upset and hurt. It wasn’t her place to talk about this firstly and secondly she didn’t have the decency to even be embarrassed or apologise when confronted.

Personally I’d take a step back, you’ve told her how upset you are, she’s dismissed you. There’s not a lot you can do if she isn’t willing to admit how badly she’s behaved.
Depending on just how private and delicate it was would depend if I ended the friendship or not.

Is there any chance she didn’t realise that it wasn’t to be shared? Any chance she thought you’d have told the other mutual friend? (Possibly clutching at straws)

Itstimetoquit · 26/02/2022 20:31

That's not a friend x

7eleven · 26/02/2022 20:41

Is it possible she assumed, as you’d told her, you’d also told your other friend?

Woahthehorsey · 26/02/2022 20:42

I've had this sort of thing happen to me once. It's awful. Stopped being friends with her. It actually blew our friendship group up, but I'm much happier without her in my life which I never thought I would be.

Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 20:43

Thanks everyone.
If I told you what it was, you would not disclose. I haven't even seen this other friend for at least a year, we're not that close. My best friend probably see's her once a year, but only a few times as, like I said I only introduced them to each other a few years ago, actually more like 3 or 4.
When I expressed my annoyance she said at least I told you and not hidden it. I am truly shocked, it's really not like her. She's also felt very strongly about confidentiality on her part and I've always respected that.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 20:46

@7eleven no she wouldn't have thought I'd told her. She even said (when she first told me she'd told her) 'sorry I confessed' [shocked]

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Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 20:47

It was bad. No-one would think otherwise.

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Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 21:24

Also, any decent person wouldn't just take a chance that they had been told. She knew I hadn't seen her for ages anyway.

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Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 21:25

@Woahthehorsey I'm sorry that it also happened to you. Did it take you by surprise and was it your best friend?

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Woahthehorsey · 26/02/2022 21:38

My absolute best friend. Chief bridesmaid. It took me massively by surprise. With hindsight it maybe shouldn't have though. My MH was dreadful at the time, I was so, so low and I confided in her and she just totally betrayed me and then tried to use the information to turn people against me and drive a wedge between me and DH. I didn't initially cut contact with her, I should have. She wouldn't have been able to do the other stuff if I had.

Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 22:08

Oh I'm sorry. Hope you're coming to terms with it. At least you found out what she was like.

OP posts:
wingscrow · 26/02/2022 22:11

She betrayed your trust and does not even have the decency to feel guilty and apologise.

I would end the friendship.

Luredbyapomegranate · 26/02/2022 22:38

Bloody hell.

If she’s a really good friend, I’d probably have a come to Jesus conversation. But if she didn’t twig she’d totally fucked up after that I’d drop.

Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 26/02/2022 22:42

@Luredbyapomegranate come to Jesus?! Come again??

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Luredbyapomegranate · 26/02/2022 23:15

[quote CrazyRatLover]@Luredbyapomegranate come to Jesus?! Come again??[/quote]
Ha - it’s a US a expression - means the moment someone is brought to the realisation they’re on the wrong path / have done something wrong.

Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 27/02/2022 12:09

Ah right!

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layladomino · 27/02/2022 13:15

It's very strange. More understandable (still not OK) if she'd blurted it out and then felt terrible and been full of apologies. But the fact she's blase and downplaying. And that this is not her usual character makes it wierd.

Has she explained to you why she decided to tell this friend? Does she understand the damage she's done?

Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 27/02/2022 17:58

She said that she thought we were close. Close or not it's not her story to tell. I'm still fuming today. It would have been unlikely that to contact each other for a while now anyway, but when she does I'll be telling her that I'm unsure of our friendship carrying on especially after the lack of care and remorse in her words.

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Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 27/02/2022 18:00

It's either that or I'm just going to message her in the next few days telling her. No point drawing it out.

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7eleven · 27/02/2022 18:17

I completely understand why you’re so upset, but if generally she’s been a really good friend, could you come back from this?

Original poster
CrazyRatLover · 27/02/2022 18:53

I don't think so!

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