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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What do you do when you can't agree on another baby?

32 replies

Busybeebusybee123 · 26/02/2022 18:35

Just that really, I am desperate for another baby, h isn't . This has been the source of arguments for over a year, we have an awful argument where he hints he doesn't want another child, the following day he's always sorry and that he does want another yet when it comes to trying for one he starts an argument and the whole cycle starts again. He has a drinking problem along with anxiety but he does nothing to help himself I have tried and tried to help but he just doesn't want it. I'm at a point now where I want to end the relationship because we want different things . Some advice would be appreciated. Thankyou for reading

OP posts:

istandwithukraine · 27/02/2022 01:35

Who currently pays for the one you have? If it's not you then you can hardly force another one on him?

Nevertheless you shouldn't even be considering with someone with anxiety and drinking problems it's incredibly selfish

user1481840227 · 27/02/2022 01:35

Busybeebusybee123

It would be incredibly selfish for you to bring another child into this mess.
You said on the other thread that you financially can't afford to leave him, well if he agreed to have another baby then that would leave you even more trapped.

Your focus should be on finding a way to leave with your existing child.

Brett239 · 27/02/2022 01:52

Yes + no = no

layladomino · 27/02/2022 09:11

My immediate answer to the question in your title would be - if one person doesn't want another child, then you don't have another child. Because how could you have a child who's unwanted by one of their parents?

But having read your op, in your case this is about so much more than a disagreement over whether to have a baby isn't it. It isn't even a straightforward disagreement - he is wavering, changing his mind, messing you around.

And he's an alcoholic. Please please don't have a baby with an alcoholic. Even if he changed his mind tomorrow it wouldn't be the right thing to do.

Bananalanacake · 27/02/2022 09:45

Does he hold down a job with his drinking problem. I hope he doesn't drive with your DC when drunk.

Canyouhearmehello · 27/02/2022 10:01

No you do not bring another child into this mess. You want a child he wants to get drunk what could possibly go wrong. I suggest he gets help for his drinking living with a drunk is not good for you or your dc

LampLighter414 · 27/02/2022 11:03

The person who doesn't want a child trumps the other.

Either accept it... or end the relationship and find someone else to have more children with.

As PP have said - why would you want a child with an alcoholic anyway

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