OW look

[Lilypresto]

I was wondering if anyone has experienced a 'look' from a OW? I think I may recently have experienced one. It was a stare looking directly into my eyes, set mouth, and when I smiled and said hello she totally blanked me, still staring at me though, still same expression as we walked past each other. It was bloody odd.
This was a woman from his hobby btw not a random stranger. I never identified the woman he as seeing and we are no longer together anyway. But I'm still curious, if anyone has experienced a 'look' from a OW, can you describe it.

There are things like 'the sociopathic stare' which you could be describing. A look that puts this horrible threatened/fearful feeling in your gut.

There's also a similar thing from narcissists when they eye up a target. It's like a hard stare that can make you uncomfortable if you notice it. But that can also be mistaken for chemistry by a woman if its a man looking (or vice versa).

But I'm pretty sure there's no specific 'ow' look.
...apart from maybe dislike of you perhaps lol.
...or a look of steely competition if she still views you as a threat.

It didn't make me feel fearful. My instant split second reaction was that she thought I was the devil incarnate and I wanted to say hey I'm nice really. It wasn't til afterwards that I wondered if this may have been a OW. 'Look of steely competition' fits it quite well though.

He probably told her a bunch of shit about you and she does think you're the devil.

If your gut is telling you something, it's probably true.

It's natural when someone smiles at you to smile back. It's instinct. So if she resisted then I would assume it took conscious effort. Steming from intense dislike. ...or she is indeed a psyco lol.

I wonder if he told her that yes you know all about her, or that you're unhinged or something. So when you gave her a benign smile with no certain knowledge of who she was, she was shocked.

Or maybe she was trying to intimidate you. I do believe in trusting your gut. Whatever was behind the look, she has cast you in the ''foe'' column not the friend column and some people divide everybody in to categories. Above them or beneath them. Friend or Foe. Admirer or Threat. Whatever way it's labelled. I've come across it too. Somebody cast me in the role of her enemy. Oh boy.

What happened @UserBotLurking9to5 ?

@Pinkbonbon

He probably told her a bunch of shit about you and she does think you're the devil.

If your gut is telling you something, it's probably true.

It's natural when someone smiles at you to smile back. It's instinct. So if she resisted then I would assume it took conscious effort. Steming from intense dislike. ...or she is indeed a psyco lol.

You make an intriguing point.

A couple of years ago he and I bumped into a different woman from his hobby. An older lady. He didn't introduce me but from the brief chat it would have been clear to her that he and I lived together.

I remember thinking at the time her reaction to me was strange. She looked me up and down as he was talking. Not in a nasty way. But literally looked me up and down in the way you might look someone up and down when they've asked you to check if they look ok for a night out.

Oh, totally different circumstances so not much use to you perhaps but if your goal is to emerge from a really, baffling hurtful experience that makes no sense and feels like an injustice with a stronger sense of yourself, maybe it will resonate a bit. A female relative seemed to fawn all over about 80% of her/our relatives in what seems to me to be an obviously over the top way. At one point she was nearly gasping ''I agree with you, I agree!'' and wagging her tail to a male relative and icing me, nothing i said got so much as a reaction. She is what I would describe as a classic ''Man's Woman''. She prefers the attention of men. I called her out on not noticing that I had said what my relative said not two minutes ago. She did not take kindly to having her fawning/icing pointed out. She said something very nasty to me on my big birthday but then deleted it as her image is ''lovely'' and she couldn't afford to let it sit there. She has given me the silent treatment for about 2 years+
I am past caring. She is a deeply disturbed woman who puts on a front of being a lovely vivacious person. But anybody who has two personalities on the go, the horrible one is the real one. It's my conscious intention to be the same to everybody and if I slip up and reflect on that. I have learned a lot about human nature and about myself and what incongruities in my behaviour /words and values cause me anxiety in the last two years. So, she's done me a favour. When she first went to 'war' with me, my inclination was rage. But over the last two years I've realised that that is not who I want to be, and I can deal with being excluded from a group (she can't and that's why she wanted to get rid of me) and I will carry on, knowing that I'm ok, that I can like myself without being in denial. That behaving badly causes me more anxiety not less. That being shitty to people is not my go-to. I think she likes herself too thought [ha] so she's not analysing herself or self-reflecting at all! Rarely the people who most need to self-reflect who do it.

Some men like to present themselves as single I think.

I'm thinking of somebody at my work who never mentions his wife's name. EVER. It's weird. They've been married over a decade I think. If he does have to mention her, he says ''she works Monday-thursday'' but won't say her name and never ever says ''my wife''. He likes people to think he's in a casual relationship. He definitely never corrects that.

@UserBotLurking9to5
Thanks for sharing. No, not same circumstances, but yes resonates. Your thoughts are good advice actually esp, 'being shitty to people is not my go-to'. Not mine either. I wonder if you need to fight fire with fire but then why should you change who you are x

She doesn't like you. What a surprise. The end.

Ih OP yes. I've received this stare from the wife of a male colleague who I was only very much friends with, after I said to him 'bye' and 'have a nice Christmas.'.

It's awful and makes you feel you have done something terrible... reflects more on them.

Chances are he was as pp suggested, presenting himself as single to all and sundrey. So the looks you were getting could well be 'uh...so a partner exists' from some.

I think its probably best to just be glad you are out now. You could wonder forever what he said to whom or who he may have cheated or tried to cheat with and never be any the wiser.