This will be long sorry.. I met my exdp 14 years ago.. fell in love quite quickly, we were both from dysfunctional families but that didn't seem an issue at the time. I got pregnant with my now 13 year daughter after 3 months together.. not ideal at all but we decided to go ahead. The relationship broke down quite quickly, the shock of being pregnant with a relative stranger really hit me when I was about 3 months pregnant. We didn't see eachother for months. He was at her birth and we decided to give it a go again.
The relationship was good, we rarely argued and I was happy. We decided to have another baby when our daughter was two.. I was very depressed during this pregnancy and exdp was not supportive in any way.. he completely checked out and I felt so alone. Unfortunately after my son was born I had PND and my lovely Mam was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I couldn't believe how quickly my life was turning to shit and again exdp wasn't supportive. I understand he wasn't exactly having a party himself and life stresses, having two young children and a partner who was unwell was really hard for him. I'm know I was selfish at times. I started to drink heavily after my Mam died and I struggled with looking after myself and the children. I tried.. I went on antidepressants.. went to a counsellor.. I went off the rails, I just wanted to escape the misery I was feeling.. our relationship broke down obviously.. we separated. And lived apart.. again we tried to start again. We both loved eachother.. It's now been years of back and forward.. I still love him and he is now recently saying he wants to try again.. it's been 6 years since we were in a relationship. A lot has happened, we've both changed, grown up and I'm taking responsibility for the things I did during the relationship. I do love him he's a great person but I'm wondering if we are both just settling because it's comfortable, easier than meeting someone new and neither of us has met anyone else. I'm thinking he lonely.. he knows I feel feelings for him and it's just easy? He wants to talk about where we go from here this weekend.. any thoughts?