Serious problem with brushing his teeth

[SummersBreeze]

My partner is a good person. He would do anything for anyone. He's a good person.

I have an issue though in that he's not brushing his teeth at night time. When I request for him to brush his teeth, he shrugs it off.

This is a huge problem for me now. He had a dental abscess a few weeks ago. He was so sore. Seeing him in pain nearly killed me and knowing that I couldn't do anything to help him or take away his pain. Then there's me thinking, it's inevitable he's going to suffer more in the future considering he's not brushing his teeth at night time. He needs to brush his teeth.

I am having a difficult patch with my work lately. It's so busy and intense. So much so I was diagnosed with migraine earlier this week. I had to take time out to get medicines to get my head better. I am living in in work and it's pretty much 24/7 work. I am getting some breaks throughout but there are times when it's though - rushed meals, little sleep. I had to take time out this week to go to my GP because I was sick from migraine - it was sleep deprivation, hunger and a whole and everything out of whack and balance for me.

I had my in partner visit me for a night. He brought his toothbrush. I don't know why. He did use it in the morning to be fair. To put my tired and sore head down on a pillow beside him filled me with more sick. I am working shifts that are 18+ fucking hours a day but I am still managing to floss and brush my teeth so there's no excuse in the world for my partner not to do it. The smell from his mouth filled me with more stress to be honest. I had to use the duvet as a barrier and turn around away from him. This is so bad. The least he could do hlis brush his teeth. I wonder how would he respond if I decided to give up using deodorant and chose to smell of BO instead? I'd be sure he wouldn't be too happy.

Re flowery/dramatic - OP is very good at English, but some of the phrases she uses might not have exactly the effect she'd like to get across. That's how it is when you are expressing yourself in a second language at this advanced level.

OP, you have enough to deal with at work without having to tell another adult to brush his teeth. If he's not around, you'll have more time and energy to try to find a better job.

@DearlyBeloathed

How can his breath be that bad if he does brush in the mornings?

Sounds like he has gum disease. That stinks.

@DearlyBeloathed

How can his breath be that bad if he does brush in the mornings?

He's probably got a gum infection, hence the bleeding gums. OP if the smell is somewhat metallic, it's definitely a gum infection. Usually sorts itself out with brushing twice a day and using a medicated mouthwash such as Corsodyl (the proper full-on one, not the Corsodyl Daily. Cheaper non-brand alternatives available).

My dentist told me that it's literally impossible to smell it yourself when you have a gum infection, so someone needs to tell him, in a kind way, and explain what to do.

Doesn't have to be you OP, it sounds like you have enough on your plate and difficulty stating your needs - hence hanging out of your own bed rather than telling him to brush his teeth or fuck off home.

Is this the same boyfriend that isn't interested in sex?

Re flowery/dramatic - OP is very good at English, but some of the phrases she uses might not have exactly the effect she'd like to get across. That's how it is when you are expressing yourself in a second language at this advanced level.

I had no clue english was a second language to OP (and no reason to as it's not mentioned anywhere in this thread).

It doesn't take away from the fact that saying seeing him in pain (over toothache, not massive trauma or surgery) 'nearly killed' her is an excessively dramatic reaction. And that all the drama is taking away from the actual point of its gross, unhygienic and, in the case of a partner who should care about their OH and their feelings towards them, unattractive.

I've experienced this from different sides, like young and old people, where there are similarities because of the time and country they were raised in, other things took more priority, poor, mentality etc. And it was something that was neglected years ago, but now very different. But then can take two other people similar ages, who both take care of their teeth, it is down to the person too.
I have met guys like this who have bad oral hygiene. And one smokes too, and I just couldn't carry on seeing that person I felt sick afterwards. It's not cruel it's something we can all do, is brush and floss, even though I understand dental care is going down hill with lack of NHS spaces and what they will now do under the NHS.

I had no clue english was a second language to OP
I just assumed it was, to be fair! Could be wrong.

@Ijsbear

Try to talk to him again. If that doesn't work ...

Sleep on the sofa for a few nights. If that doesn't change his mind then you have to decide: are you going to put up with this forever, or will you separate?

Sadly it's that simple.

Yes this.

Assuming you've told him his mouth smells, he treating you with contempt, which is not being a good partner.