Tonight ds trapped his fingers in the door and started crying. I was carrying toddler so said to dh “he’s trapped his fingers” dh replied what happened? Where? I said in the door but Dh kept repeating the same thing until I said does it matter- he’s hurt, to which dh shouted angrily at me “of course it does” I had to put the toddler down to cuddle ds as dh had still made no move to.
I don’t understand why he would rather shout and question than comfort ds. IMO shouting in this situation is an inappropriate reaction. Instead he was shouting, ds was crying and so was the toddler for being put down!
Dh has form for escalating situations and I have asked many times for him not to shout at me - he’s not aggressive but shouty and swears a lot which I hate, especially in front of our children.
He saw nothing wrong with what happened, thinks I’m over reacting by mentioning it (after kids were in bed) I pointed out I didn’t want our daughter thinking it was ok for a future partner to speak to her like that and now he says he can’t speak to me as he isn’t allowed an opinion and I’ll accuse him of trying to turn things around on me ( I admit i did say that earlier and probably not overly nicely, when he tried to defend himself - but I have apologised for that although said I stand by the rest of what I said) he has gone upstairs and ignored me for the last 2 hours.
I don’t know if I’m being petty- I’m stressed with work and tired. I do all the night wake ups with the toddler, 80 percent of household stuff at least, all mental load falls to me - and I only work a few hours less than him a week- I just felt like a switch flipped tonight and I couldn’t ignore it. I don’t really know what I’m asking - is this just a silly thing we should go to bed on and forget about, putting down to tiredness? Or was I right to say I was unhappy rather than fester?