Is this wrong?

[Anonymousaga]

I've become friendly with a lady who was my ex's ex, basically he has a child with her and I didn't find out until we had separated and I was going through child Maintenance for our child. A test she contacted me and it turned out she and my ex had a daughter and my ex had nothing to do with her, refused to pay CM and she had to fight to eventually get it through his work.

He payed CM for our child for a bit then he stopped and I had to go through CMS too.
However this OW told me that he has started to pay her off his own back now as well as also getting the child Maintenance from him....she said she doesn't think he realises he's paying her child Maintenance because it comes out of his wages before he sees it or something....so in effect she's getting about £400 a month for one child. He's on 30k a year. Is this right? Not sure if I should say something because he's paying double what he should be?

Depends how your ex treated you, if he was a total shit I'd keep out of it and let him pay the extra, the fact you had to go through CMS as he stopped paying suggests he is a shit?
I'd probably keep out of it.

It's none of your business so keep out of it.

Yes he was a complete narc...cheated in all his relationships....his ex told me stories of what he was like and he has never changed. Compulsive liar. I'm worried in case child Maintenance find out and she would have to pay the child Maintenance back if he ever found out he was.paying her that too....

I would tell her that, you are worried if he finds out he will want it back and payments will stop but ultimately it's her decision to take that risk. It's ok to be concerned and offer advice but not much else you can do.

She won’t have to pay it back, CM is the legal minimum he has to pay, he can pay above that if he wishes so no she won’t have to pay it back even if he is paying it by mistake

Don’t say anything it will smack of jealousy that you’re not getting extra, cms won’t get involved in anything extra he chooses to pay as that’s up to him and anything he pays privately isn’t their business like I said cms is just the legal minimum, he can pay above that.

I don't think he realises the child Maintenance that comes from his wage is going to her aswell....he thinks the CM is just for our child, and he's paying his ex privately. So he is unknowingly paying more than he realises....I know it's nothing do with with my situation but I'm just thinking of the moral of it all.

CMS won’t do anything about what he pays privately, they will see it as him voluntarily paying more, it’s not there/ her mistake it’s his

Thank you for all your advice. Il just keep out of it then.. he very well may know he's paying her more, maybe he's grown a conscience from all the years he never paid and the fact he has never wanted to even meet his child with hiss ex!

Let him pay double at least until he's paid back the missing years.

@Anonymousaga

I don't think he realises the child Maintenance that comes from his wage is going to her aswell....he thinks the CM is just for our child, and he's paying his ex privately. So he is unknowingly paying more than he realises....I know it's nothing do with with my situation but I'm just thinking of the moral of it all.

How many years did he refuse to pay for his first child? If consider it as payback for those years. I certainly wouldn't ruin the remainder between my child and their sibling.

Interesting that he may think the entire deduction is going to support your child though.

They would have wrote to him though so he would be aware.