Better mum when single?

[BecseC]

Hi just wondering if there is anyone that feels that they cope better as a single mum rather than being with baby’s dad? I’m really starting to think that I’m a crappy and grumpy mum when he is around and I don’t know if I should just bite the bullet.
Basically he works away during the week most of the time and I have looked our baby by myself since she was born and I feel like life is definitely harder when he comes back for the weekend.
Not sure what I’m trying to get out of this post but needed somewhere to rant 😭 any help or advice would be great , I’ve tried talking to him but I get nothing back

I was in the same boat as you ..I have 3 children one of which was with my partner at the time, who worked away through the week then only came home at weekends, and even then he was gone for most of that with his 'hobbies' there's more to the reason I eventually left but oh my god is my life so much better for it.

I think if there's underlying problems with your relationship and you haven't been happy for a while even after talking it through then yeh, do what's best for you and your child. If it's just you think he should pull his weight more around the house then I'd chat with him, let him know how you're feeling and see how it goes from there. X

Same. My ex working away showed me that I was more than capable of coping and it meant that I wasn’t wasting valuable energy on a difficult relationship so had more to give to my DCs. I did go on to have another relationship after that, and again since that ended I’m a lot more present with them, but I do feel like I need something outside of being a mum to feel like myself, so I think you need to find a balance tbh.

I'm way better as a single parent. I was a single mum for nearly 10 years after my first relationship ended. DD1 was 2 and I was pregnant with DS when their dad left and they have had no contact with him at all. I was then married for a short while and had DD2, but the marriage ended 8 years ago and I've been a single mum ever since. DD2 is now 11 and I have no interest in another relationship, at least not while she's still young. Maybe when she goes to uni, but for now I wouldn't want to mess up the dynamic.

I'm much better as a single parent. My husband chucked in the towel when our twins were the grand total of 16 months old I'm exhausted 24/7 but I am also not burning with constant fury at his laziness. Our house is mostly a peaceful place where I can raise my DC without his negative influence. They are perfectly happy without him. Better no dad than a shite one.

My ex has bipolar. Horrible to live with and aggressive. I made a calm decision to end our marriage when his behaviour escalated, and I could see it affecting our eldest child. No more shouting, passive aggressive nastiness or fights about when we go out. Single parenthood is hard work, but better than two parents fighting all the time. We get along better as friends now we don't live together.

I did with DH1. It’s definitely often true if your partner doesn’t pull their weight and is difficult in any way,

100% a better parent single. Its easier knowing its all on me rather then being frustrated at someone who is not pulling their weight.

Yes! Ex DH contributed nothing to bringing up DD. When I finally made to get him to leave it was like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders. He was like another child life is easier and I just focus on dd

Better to be a single parent than in an unhappily married one.

You can focus on you and DC and avoid the arguements / analysing what your OH says or does (or doesn't do) / resentment and all the energy that takes up.

I was single for a while before meeting and marrying now DH. I loved that time with DC. I like to think I'm a good mum now, but that's because I'm happy with DH and only positive energy comes from that relationship. If that wasn't the case I wouldn't hesitate to be single again.

I am a far better parent alone than with ex.

Even ex-MIL, who really wanted us to stay together for the kids, says we're both better parents apart than together. She is a destructively critical person sometimes but I am grateful she was kind enough to say this!