Thank god!! My crush is over!

[Overit37]

Please can I share with you that my crush on an old friend is finally over.

I am married with three girls but this old friend and I had always had what I thought of as a connection. When we moved up north two years ago, we lived quite near this friend who is recently divorced and I developed this intense overwhelming crush on him. I would think about him loads and wonder whether I was married to the right man, I'd imagine myself with this other chap. Obviously, I should say my husband and I have had some difficulties in our marriage because he works abroad regularly and we haven't had much time together in recent years.

I suppose I just wanted to share that I now see the man I was crushing on as just a man and part of this came about through time and from distancing myself but it was a bloody nuisance!!!! So thankfully over now!! Phew!! As you were!!

Good to hear, congratulations :p

Thank you! Honestly it's been hell and i could have so easily messed everything up. Feel grateful that it ran its course without anything happening I suppose...

No one knew about this in real life!

Great to hear!!
Sometimes it feels like these things will never end

Well done! Thanks for letting us know.
I guess there was a man-shaped gap in your life at the time and I hope you and DH find a way to be happy

Congratulations! Mine varies throughout my monthly cycle. It has currently subsided after a couple of difficult weeks. Then again, if I ever saw him with his wig on (not a grandad wig I would add!)

Was distancing yourself the only thing that worked and how long did you need to stay away? If you randomly ran into one another, would it start over again?

How long did it last?

I actually think it's really useful that you posted about it being over, when there is always a trickle of posts from people who've developed a violent crush, think it's never happened to anyone else, that it's some significant sign that they're married to the wrong person, and that's it's True Love banging too tragically late at their door.

Whereas they do just go away by themselves eventually, if left unacted on. I now regard one I had about eleven or twelve years ago (inexplicable, on a colleague) with mild horror. The man in question remains a good friend several jobs down the line, though I don't see him more than annually these days, but I have no idea what I was thinking back then! It was like some kind of temporary aberration.

BloodyForeland honestly I agonised for ages over whether it was true love banging pm my door. Not helped by the man in question being very flirtatious and making me feel that from his side we had something special. I have come to the conclusion that he changes like the wind and probably had a lot of irons in the fire, if that makes sense. I think it would have been a massive ego boost to him if I'd left my family. He's not the person I thought he was tbh.

Hesheweeshe a year or two at uni and then a couple of years until now.

Soffit no I think it is finally over because I've seen who he is!! So will not resume. Distance has helped. I don't want to be friends with him anymore.

@Overit37

Soffit no I think it is finally over because I've seen who he is!! So will not resume. Distance has helped. I don't want to be friends with him anymore.

Ahh, I'm glad that it was bad enough to do the trick. I have seen some negative traits in my crush but I am immediately forgiving of him. I need to keep some kind of chart on my fridge and make it an 'x points and I will detach completely' sort of decision.

Soffit I was the same until I saw him charming another lady in the same way he had been charming me!! It sobered me up in no time. It's so strange how our mind plays tricks and how crazy you go when you perceive what is missing in your relationship is found in another. I got that so wrong and it has made me so grateful for my husband!!

@Overit37

Soffit I was the same until I saw him charming another lady in the same way he had been charming me!! It sobered me up in no time. It's so strange how our mind plays tricks and how crazy you go when you perceive what is missing in your relationship is found in another. I got that so wrong and it has made me so grateful for my husband!!

I can see my one doing that. I'll be looking out for it. He often retweets the opinions of young women from his profession. I'll be keeping an eye on it. He needs to be charming because he charges his clients ridiculous sums of money so the flattery could ALL be an act to get wealthier and wealthier or compensate for the fact that he is getting older by reenergizing his twitter with gorgeous, young trainees . Thanks for the tip!

This type of personality type craves attention from lots of women it seems... very charming until they reel you in and then it seems you are one of many... hard to get your head around and feels chaotic. Points to narcissism probably...