Need help deciphering this dating situation

[Goodvibes12]

Been on 3 dates with a new guy I like a lot. He has joint custody of 4yo boy and works as an accountant for big firm so quite busy but has been keen to keep momentum going, following up etc. All dates have been amazing and lasted hours, he is interested in what I have to say, curious and remembers things I've told him. At the end of the last date he suggested meeting next week and messaging to set that up.

I do think he fancies me because he sort of eyes me up in the way men do when they think you're not looking, when I get up to go to the loo etc.

However, no kiss yet and not even any touching really. Should I be worried? I sense he is a bit shy about that side of things - has a gentlemanly way about him and is clear only looking for a serious relationship. He has also asked me whether I want kids, not sure if that means anything.

Just confused as most guys I've dated have gone for the kiss way before now and I'm wondering if he just wants to be friends.

He is just being a bit cautious and going slowly (which is right too ) at your next meet try taking his hand or touching his hand at some point and see what happens, if he pulls away it’s friendship, if not then you have your answer

He sounds interested and respectful. Try flirting with him eg touching his arm, wiping imaginary food off his face, picking imaginary crumb out of his hair and see how he reacts.

@Milomonster

He sounds interested and respectful. Try flirting with him eg touching his arm, wiping imaginary food off his face, picking imaginary crumb out of his hair and see how he reacts.

I'm sorry but I just got a mental image of two chimps grooming each other 😂 I do agree a bit of touching is the best way forward though!

I'm pretty upfront so I'd probably just say "shall we kiss?" at either the beginning or end of the next date. If that puts someone off then we're not suited anyway!

Ask him. If you're looking for a long term relationship, it needs to be with someone you feel relaxed enough with to ask them questions about how they feel, before you start to feel like you're in the dark.

If you're asking on a forum about how he feels, that suggests you're not that comfortable with him. What stops you kissing/touching him?

Next time you go out and no snog text something like "I had such a good time tonight Bob. I really wanted to kiss you!"
His reply will either be "you should have done....next time!" Or some kind of rejection. Then you'll know...

I think he sounds really nice! It's a bit of a relief really to hear about guys like that. He wouldn't keep on seeing you if you didn't fancy you. I think he doesn't want to get involved with anyone unless he's sure they'd be a good match for his child as well. I don't blame him.

Some people are just a little more reserved. Take initiative on it as suggested above. Hope it works out!

It does sound like he is being respectful so I wouldn't worry about it. Just let things progress naturally.

Him asking about children probably means he's looking for someone to take his on.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation I write that having not flirted with a man for years and so any advice I give Carrie’s no weight!

I’d say he’s not sure about you.

Could be because you don’t have kids (maybe he doesn’t want more), or a myriad of other things but after three dates he’s either very cautious or playing hard to get in some way.

Either way, he knows you’re expecting more and he’s not delivering. This will influence how you behave towards him. He will respond to this behaviour…

I think it’s a test. #experience

I would not take the initiative fwiw

Three dates and no attempt to kiss you - he wants you to chase him? I’d find that very unattractive and possibly narcissistic.

I've heard it all now. It's narcissistic to wait for someone to kiss you? Like the Op is doing?

Op, if you want to be in a relationship of equals, act like an equal from day 1. It's 2022 not 1930. If you want to kiss him, then kiss him. Or make it clear that's what you want.

I said possibly.

My opinion is different from yours - so what? That’s the point of these boards 🙄