I can’t stop thinking about them abusing the animals

[RockpoolGirl]

I’m going through therapy for PTSD at present. I’m laying here crying tonight because I keep having awful flashbacks to my stepdad kicking the dogs and cats across the room and my mum laughing her head off.

If any of our pets ever did a wee in the house one of them would grab them by the head, push their faces in it and smack them on the head really hard.

I have recurring dreams where pets are in danger and I can’t save them.

I have pets myself and get flashbacks when I look at them.

My mum has a dog now. We are not in contact anymore but I constantly worry about her dog being treated ok. I have no idea if the poor thing is ok.

The trauma of everything that happened in that house- both to me and the pets- just never leaves me.

I’m 42 and so exhausted. I have nightmares and mental health battles that never end.

What did I do to deserve this

So sorry to read this op it sounds awful. You've done right to go no contact! Just remember it wasn't you inflicting this you were so unfortunate to be there and be too young to protect them. Can you ask a third party to check on current dog for your peace of mind? You did nothing to deserve this, nor did the animals, these were 2 sick and twisted individuals

Hi OP,

I am so sorry you went through this. How deeply distressing for you. I hope that the PTS therapy helps.

You did not deserve it then and you do not deserve these flashbacks now. It was nothing you did.

I haven't much experience of it myself, but there are therapies that deal with the physical element of trauma, such as somatic therapy, developed by Peter Levine.

Napac is a charity that assists people who experienced abuse in childhood. They have a free helpline or you can email them for support:
napac.org.uk/

Arielle Schwartz is worth looking at too. There are some good resources/info on her website: drarielleschwartz.com/

Hi OP. I can highly recommend EMDR therapy for this sort of trauma. It totally sorted my PTSD even though I was very sceptical about it. I got mine free through my GP.

I absolutely agree with the above poster re EMDR. It’s hard to find, often expensive but so worth it. It helps you desensitize very quickly. Also call the RSPCA and get them to do a welfare check on the dog. You will have done something proactive at least.

Thanks- I’ll look into EMDR.

Re the dog, my worry is that unless they’re there when it’s smacked how would they know if anything is wrong?

How awful. You have a good, soft, loving heart.

I'm so sorry.

Report her to the RSPCA. Say you're concerned for welfare as you know your mum has a history of violently abusing animals.

They can check the dogs behaviour and if it has food and water and underweight etc