She’s technically my only female cousin on my dads side (I have two step cousins who’re female who’ve always been treated the same though).
But she hates me. Always has. She’s a month older than me, we grew up within half a mile of each other and she doesn’t have any sisters and my brother and I are her only cousins (her none related parent is an only child) so people assume we’d be close.
There’s a huge backstory which includes her bullying me at school and my mum begging them to put me in different classes at high school to her, but my dad and his family decided I was making it all up. On my 18th birthday she told me she wished I’d never been born and if she ever saw me again it’d be too soon – again my dads family don’t believe me. We’ve stayed away from each other ever since.
I moved to go to university and thought I'd never come "home" but unfortunately I had to move back.
Our DDs are also only a month apart in age, but had the same due date – she had her DD at 35 weeks, but she’s thankfully ok.
When she found out about my DD she apparently cried and said I’d “deliberately had a girl”. She was not the same when her brother had a girl a year later, and she treats my DNs like her cousins, but doesn’t even acknowledge me or my DD as family.
She even posted publically when our DDs were starting school that she’d been “forced to put (her DD) into (private school) to avoid her cousins brat” my brother commented underneath asking if she meant his girl and she replied “No (DBs name) your girl is lovely”. She’s never met my DD to pass judgement.
We both have big birthdays coming up. I assumed I wouldn’t be invited to hers and I definitely don’t want her at mine.
But my dads just announced that him and his sibling are planning a joint celebration for our birthdays. I’ve told him in no uncertain terms that if my cousin is there I will not be, but he keeps saying that we need to put it to bed and be friends. I have friends, and my friends don’t treat me like a piece of dirt. It will be horrible for both of us, neither of us will enjoy it and quite frankly I don’t want my DD there as I don’t trust my cousin to not kick off at me, so it won’t be a proper celebration anyway as why would I celebrate my birthday without my favourite little person?
I know this isn’t AIBU, but AIBU to not want to spend time with someone who so clearly hates me. I’ve never to my knowledge done anything to cause her to hate me so much. And I think after so long it’s unlikely we’ll ever be friends.