My boyfriends got a history of being an alcoholic. He's been sober a couple of years now and I didn't know him as a drinker. But we met when we were both rebuilding our lives. Mine was separation from the father of my children. His was building up from the bottom. He separated from his girlfriend and left the home they shared a few years ago. He didn't take anything from the home they built up over the 9 years they were together.
I've noticed he seems stuck in the past alot. He's forever showing me pictures of the dogs he had in that relationship. He tries to mention his ex to me less now. But he is still also beating himself up about that too. Not because he wants to be with anymore. He just goes over it alot. How they took eachother for granted. He's come to terms with them not being compatible. He knows that they both wanted different lives and at first he blamed the split entirely on his drinking. He's slowly started to see her contributions to the break down of their relationship. He said he has kept in touch via text with her through guilt and because he feels terrible about his behaviour back then. His auntie told me he's never gotten over that relationship and probably never will. She said they are just friends now though and it's not love or something he'd go back to.
He also seems hurt from his dad's behaviour through his child hood. His dad would cheat on his mum and come and go from the family home. There's alot of bad memories for him in general including his first relationship which was abusive.
I just wandered is this common amongst ex addicts.
He doesn't attend any support groups and tends to talk to me over a cuppa from time to time. I don't mind him talking about it at all(maybe the Ex needs to fade away more) but I am starting to wonder if he's depressed again. I think he spends alot of time scrolling back through photos on his Facebook as I often get screen shots of photos going right back to 2012. Usually of his dogs or his garden he did with his Ex. He just seems stuck.