Have I been in the wrong?

[MissPotatohead1]

9 years I have been with Dp. Just before Christmas told me it was over, he wanted my name off the mortgage etc. We had been unhappy a long time and he'd been threatening to leave for about a year, throughout my pregnancy too.
After He told me it was over I started texting.. and ending up sleeping a few times.. with someone else, I was vulnerable, heartbroken.. he made me feel cared for. He has actually been nothing but kind to me.
Ex is texting saying if I'm texting or done anything with anyone else he "meant less to me than he thought" and "he can't just get over it like that" making me feel like I've done wrong. And that there's no way back for us if I have. Yet he already told me there was no way back anyway??
But HE told ME it was over and he is the one that told me to F off out of his life.
I feel so guilty. Was I in wrong??

Your DH told you it's over. Who you see, text or sleep with his no longer any of his goddammed business. Tell him so.

This blame-game is a total red herring from him.
It's all about dominating & controlling you.
For goodness sake - stop spending any energy on thinking about it, & look at what's important - his threat to "take you off the mortgage."

You know he can't do that single-handedly, right?
But he might imagine he can & it's clearly the remark of a man who is looking to shaft you financially.
So get your arse in gear, book an appointment with a good divorce lawyer & start protecting your own interests.

I'm sorry, you must be reeling from all this.
But you don't have time to waste on analysing the emotional fallout right now - you need to stop accepting your Ex's ridiculous accusations, tell him to sod off & mind his own business, & make 100% sure that you have an excellent lawyer to ensure that you will get a fair split of all the marital assets.

[quote MissPotatohead1]@DivorcedAndDelighted Thank you. I've been really beating myself up about it after he'd been saying the things he has about me not having loved him if I'd been able to move on etc. I've not told him a thing he just asks questions all the time if I'm seeing anyone. and if I don't give an answer he takes my lack of response as a yes. He's got it in his head I have "hundreds of lads" lined up though. That'd be nice! 😂[/quote]
You need to put yourself into a position where you are not available for his interrogation. Stop spending any time with him. If he comes to pick up the DC, send them out to him - fast handover, no chitchat.

Are you still in the maritc
al home?-sorry if I missed this.