Everyone always says 'talk to a solicitor' but how?

[Cliche87]

I know sounds like a stupid question.

But I have done that 30 min free phone call thing with a couple of them when I've been at my wit's end and it was so general and just said stuff I could have found on the internet

So I think I'm prepared to bite the bullet and pay for some legal advice. But I'm scared. Our situation is complex, he is going to be difficult, there are different bits of money, young kids, he is mentally unstable.

How do you find a good one? And once you pay for a meeting - can they give you a sense of the situation? My H is currently pretending to be SAHP and not working. So if there was any chance of him claiming full custody and me paying him support - then I simply won't do it. I will put up with any of his shit rather than let that happen.

Also - any advice on how to protect the kids once you've told H you want to separate? He won't leave the house but he will storm, and shout, and slam doors. I can't tell him and then leave to go be with family can I - would that look bad?

Have you tried asking this on the divorce/separation board, OP? Should be some good advice there.

Your first meeting with a solicitor is usually free or discounted (they're touting for your business after all), where they will explain what costs you can expect to incur as a minimum and what their view of your situation and the chances of different outcomes are. You then instruct them to act for you and that is where they start charging you from. All solicitors are very transparent by law with charges so you will know upfront how much an individual thing will cost i.e. a letter, a meeting, etc what they can't tell you is how long it will go on for and the exact costs you might incur if it drags on.

I would ask to make an appointment with a few different family law solicitors and choose the one you feel most comfortable and confident with.

The free 30 minutes is always generic and is a bit pointless as you say. They can’t understand all the complexities of the situation in that time so can’t say anything specific or would risk giving you the wrong advice.

Personal recommendation is the way to go.

Do you and your h own or rent? Presume you work? Ask around for a good solicitor - ask friends, family, colleagues - even mumsnet! Once you find one you like, Make a list of the questions you want to ask, details of income, savings, mortgage etc. If you rent it might be easier to leave, but either way if he kicks off when you tell him it’s over you can call the police if you and the dc are frightened of his rage etc. Best plan is to find out exactly where you stand if you want to split - and obviously don’t mention any of this to h. Are you afraid for your safety? That is something v important to tell the solicitor. Perhaps phone Womens Aid or Citizen’s Advice for a recommendation for a good divorce lawyer given what you’re saying and your anxiety about him claiming to be the main caregiver.

Call Womens aid first and ask for advice.

Do you feel threatened by him?

Ring 101 for advice.

Ask for recommendations of solicitors in your area from Women's aid.

So you have any friends/colleagues/acquaintances who have recently got divorced? If so I would ask them for recommendations. Otherwise it's a case of googling family law solicitor+ your area. Personally I would go for a smaller firm over a large corporate type one but it's personal preference.