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This guy is really into me but I want to play it cool?

6 replies

Sarz1991 · 21/02/2022 19:10

Please no smart answers like "Oh don't be so childish, stop playing hard to get" bla bla bla.

I have had a nice break from online dating and dating in general, I'm feeling so much better in myself and I feel ready to start dating again after finishing an unhappy longterm relationship last April.

I met this guy on a night out on Saturday. We actually matched on a dating site last October/November and had arranged to meet up but he cancelled at the last minute and that was that, no contact up until 2 days ago.

So he messaged me Sunday morning, asking me how my night was and then he swiftly asked if I wanted to meet up that afternoon.

So we did and we got on great, but when he hopped in beside me in the passenger seat of my car to first say "will we meet again?" and I said "yeah definitely " , but then he asked to kiss me and I just didn't want to!! I just felt really awkward and then the kiss was so awkward too! We were kissing loads the might before but I was quite drunk unfortunately.
It's strange though, because I was attracted to him when we were in the restaurant for our date, he has a great smile, nice eyes and a fantastic funny personality but I do find him a bit old fashioned and his dress sense too could be improved!

However he text me first that night after we parted ways and we chatted up until this morning. I just said "I've to go into work soon, so I'll chat to you later " and he said "perfect". My question is should I text him tonight like I said I would or should I just leave him do it. I know he's into me and I do have interest in him too but I'm not sure is it totally necessary to be texting everyday!!

So should I text him because I said I would as I would like another date with him or is it necessary? And please no smart answers thank you!

OP posts:
Suprima · 21/02/2022 19:31

@Sarz1991

Please no smart answers like "Oh don't be so childish, stop playing hard to get" bla bla bla.

I have had a nice break from online dating and dating in general, I'm feeling so much better in myself and I feel ready to start dating again after finishing an unhappy longterm relationship last April.

I met this guy on a night out on Saturday. We actually matched on a dating site last October/November and had arranged to meet up but he cancelled at the last minute and that was that, no contact up until 2 days ago.

So he messaged me Sunday morning, asking me how my night was and then he swiftly asked if I wanted to meet up that afternoon.

So we did and we got on great, but when he hopped in beside me in the passenger seat of my car to first say "will we meet again?" and I said "yeah definitely " , but then he asked to kiss me and I just didn't want to!! I just felt really awkward and then the kiss was so awkward too! We were kissing loads the might before but I was quite drunk unfortunately.
It's strange though, because I was attracted to him when we were in the restaurant for our date, he has a great smile, nice eyes and a fantastic funny personality but I do find him a bit old fashioned and his dress sense too could be improved!

However he text me first that night after we parted ways and we chatted up until this morning. I just said "I've to go into work soon, so I'll chat to you later " and he said "perfect". My question is should I text him tonight like I said I would or should I just leave him do it. I know he's into me and I do have interest in him too but I'm not sure is it totally necessary to be texting everyday!!

So should I text him because I said I would as I would like another date with him or is it necessary? And please no smart answers thank you!

You’re past playing it cool….

He cancelled, went cold and you gave him another chance- then did drunken snogging.
You were then immediately available for him on that afternoon, suggesting you have no life and no plans.

If you really want to pull it back and retain control- don’t text him, don’t be so readily available for him and just wait for him to arrange proper date which isn’t at his house, or a pub near his house.

Also- in the light of day you haven’t really given him a great review so don’t get emotionally invested because you feel like he is showing you interest and you should give it a go.

Chikapu · 21/02/2022 19:40

You don't sound like you're into him at all, if the idea of talking to him and seeing him again doesn't excite you then what's the point?

JellybabyGina87 · 21/02/2022 19:44

@Chikapu

You don't sound like you're into him at all, if the idea of talking to him and seeing him again doesn't excite you then what's the point?
I was going to say exactly this.
ComtesseDeSpair · 21/02/2022 19:53

I wouldn’t assume that somebody who cancelled a date back in November and then took almost four months to get back in touch was “really into me” to be honest. What reason did he give for that? Sounds more like he had a better offer back then, it didn’t work out with her, and now he thinks you’ll do.

Agree with above, neither of you sound like you’re especially fussed about the other. Why not put your energy into meeting somebody you don’t find old fashioned and badly dressed and actually want to get to know / communicate with?

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 21/02/2022 22:39

Wtf? He ghosted for four months then you're immediately available for him?? It's too late to play it cool 🙄

ChargingBuck · 21/02/2022 23:01

but then he asked to kiss me and I just didn't want to!! I just felt really awkward and then the kiss was so awkward too!

He blew you out last autumn, & this time, you didn't want to kiss him ... but kissed him anyway.

You think he's old fashioned & don't like his dress sense.
You feel awkward about kissing him.

WTF are you playing at?
I think you need to work on your boundaries & self-esteem before you get back in the dating pool.

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