My family was close growing up but one of my sisters became more erratic as we got older. It’s difficult to go into full detail here but the family dynamic changed as my parents began to cater to what she wanted because they didn’t want her to get upset. This happened over time so they may not have been aware of what they were doing. I don’t think anyone was.
At various points she was upset with various family members. For a long time I was the only one who had enough patience to stay on her good side. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore because it affected me emotionally, some of the things she would say to me or the way she would treat me. I made a difficult decision to cut her out of my life.
My parents and other sister have slowly reconciled with her over the years. This has led to situations where I have been heavily pressured to form a relationship with her again and spend time with her. I have refused because as much as I still love her, I can’t be around someone who might be horrible to me.
As time goes on it feels like I am now the one on the outside though and the one portrayed as unreasonable. My parents talk about treating everyone fairly but it doesn’t feel like we are being held to the same standard. It has affected my relationship with everyone else in my family and I feel alienated from them.
I truly love all of them but I can’t bring myself to be in a place where someone can attack me emotionally like that. I’m not sure what to do. I miss my family but I don’t think I’m strong enough to put myself in that position again. Do I need to strengthen myself and go back in or do I need to accept that I may never be close to any of them again?