What is it with exes?

[chicagocreature]

What is it with men when they are exes? Divorced my exH after finding out he was using escorts. He'd also had some questionable friendships with other women at various points throughout our marriage. Now, he's alone and lonely and continually asking to see me? If I was that much a centre of his universe that he cannot live without, why did he cheat and flirt when he had me.
I'm keeping it amicable but honestly, his attitude stinks.
His latest thing is to ask me why I want to be lonely for the rest of my life.

Just don’t engage. Or, tell him you have loads of stuff happening with friends/family/kids/work and you just don’t have the time to be lonely!

If you have to talk to him about children, kee it purely functional. If you don’t have kids, I’d disengage completely.

I don't have the heart to tell him I have stuff going on TBH. Just shows how little he rates me as a person if he thinks I'm going to be lonely without him.

I think you need to reframe this in your head then. You are trying to save his feelings by not telling him how busy/happy you are, but he’s actively trying to make you feel bad and belittle you by saying you have nothing but loneliness without him? Essentially he’s saying you are worthless without him.

Don’t save the feelings of a man who is trying to hurt yours. Get on with living your best life!

He doesn't think you'll be lonely without him. He's worried you won't be so he's being manipulative.

Do you have children together? Are there any reasons you need to stay in contact? I'd block and delete otherwise if I were you.

Of course you should tell him you've got stuff going on, people to see, places to go. Otherwise he'll be bugging you forever more, thinking you're as sad and lonely as he is. Joxster is quite right.

I’ve got the same with mine at the moment.
Finding it hard to keep it light and breezy as I DO miss him.

"Not interested, and I'm not lonely. Not sure why you think I am?"

@garlicandsapphires

I’ve got the same with mine at the moment. Finding it hard to keep it light and breezy as I DO miss him.

Sorry to read that. I did miss him at the start but not any more. I think you miss the routine and familiarity rather than the person. That will take time.

@yellowsmileyface

He doesn't think you'll be lonely without him. He's worried you won't be so he's being manipulative.

Do you have children together? Are there any reasons you need to stay in contact? I'd block and delete otherwise if I were you.

Contact needed for children, but minimal.

Hadn't thought about it being manipulation but makes sense.