Are we just friends or does he want more?

[Akayjay]

What does it mean?
I was hurt badly by my ex, my life was torn apart, I built it back up with my son being my number 1. We’re doing well, have our moments but we have it good, well until u add my ex (sons dad) into the picture. He continues to interfere In everything, it’s made me create a guard, won’t let mysef be hurt again. This is now stopping me from moving on, I’ve had many one night stands but that was easy as I knew nothing would come of it. My issue is there’s this one guy I’m really struggling to understand his intentions. We’ve spoke for nearly 4 years, started as friends, but of banter, few flirtious remarks, nothing came of it, I started thinking of anything ever did it would be strange as we got on welll, he wasn’t like must guys that didn’t hold down a conversation etc. Things changed about a year ago and We’ve had many sexual conversation, to extent he makes remarks about how things would be if we’re together, however he never actually acts on that to make it happen. So we basically talk a lot as friends with some sexual conversations, which totally confuses me as I have no idea if he expects me to be his friend or something else. To be honest I’m happy either way as I value our friendship as he’s been there through a lot but also I am curious of how things would work out together.. however it’s the not knowing where o stand that annoys me.I have tried talking to him about it, he says he’s shy and scared to let someone on incase he gets hurt again, it’s hard to believe such a flirty character who can write so much explicit things but won’t carry it out. So basically I’m wondering is the problem with him and his own feelings or is it me that’s the issue, am I giving wrong messages should I be doing something else?

Don’t get involved with him. He sounds like he’s leading you on because he loves the attention. In my experience if a man (or woman) wants to be with you, they will jump at the chance.

Aww that’s what I thought, but it’s been 4 years now and if I’m honest I don’t give him much attention, Im usually quite clued up and can play the game better than most but this ones defo different, he starts our conversation most days, normal chit chat, the. Might get flirty but he won’t follow through to end, kinda leaves them hanging

Whatever is happening, he sounds a bit off to me op. What do you mean by "sexual conversation"? To my mind, a genuine man makes his intentions clear, or he doesn't.

And tbh, I think you should be making your boundaries clear to him as well. Why are you allowing him to send explicit messages to you when you are just friends? You've already confronted him about why he isn't making a move, and he has said he is shy. But after a year of flirting, and three years of friendship, he still hasn't moved the relationship on, so I think you have your answer. And this shouldn't all be about him setting the pace either!

Tbh, I would value yourself more and distance yourself from this man altogether op. He is getting in the way of you making proper, honest relationships. You don't need someone who is playing with you. Put down some boundaries and either go and find true friends or a proper, supportive bf. Or focus on living your life without men for a bit and build up your self esteem.