Before you left, can you tell me how you got your ducks in a row.

[Yellowleadbetter]

Things like where you would go, how you would afford to get out.
Savings and ongoing finances.

It would be me leaving.
Kids would stay with him in the family home.
I would continue to financially contribute.

Anyone done this? What preparations would you make?
Any advice gratefully received, thanks.

If you are leaving, I would get paper work together. House sorted, deposit and money for furniture a but in savings and go.

I did substantially more, but my kids were coming. And in the end we had to leave quickly as he could tell something was up and his controlling behaviour got worse. But most things were in place.

Don’t want to pry but why are you having to leave the family home without the kids?

I arranged for us to replace our old fuel inefficient cat with a newer smaller one using our family savings (I would still have to do all taxi duties).

I found a place to live, had gone through benefits he'd be eligible for, how much CMS I'd be paying and then how much I could afford to contribute to the mortgage on top.

Just tidied through all the paperwork. Got copies of marriage certificate etc.

It depends on your circumstances.

Kids are better with him. He does 95% of the childcare, works pt from home, I work ft out of the home.
It’s their home, he is fantastic dad, far better parent than me.

No abuse, nothing like that, just not getting along.
Better apart I think.

I wouldn’t go far. Within 10 minutes.
Would buy somewhere and continue to contribute as I do now financially.
I’m saving like mad.
Have access to extra work hours too.

Sounds like you just need to save the money for rent on a flat and find a flat that you can afford on your income + financial contribution to your children, + large enough for them to come and stay a lot.

I'd imagine 5 mins with a scrap of paper, pencil and calculator will tell you where you are with that.

Getting ‘ducks in a row’ usually refers to a situation where a poster is preparing to leave an abusive partner.

In your case start looking for somewhere local to live. That appears to be all you need to do ?