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Relationships

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Original poster

How soon do you kiss?

23 replies

oopsIdiditagaintoo · 20/02/2022 18:47

So I came out of a long term relationship last year. I've been OLDing and finally met a nice man. We've been out twice. Both times we've hugged at the end of the date and we're messaging a lot. I'll be seeing him again on Friday. Should I make the first move? I'm wondering if I'm friend zoned.

OP posts:

Sally2791 · 20/02/2022 18:49

You could say how about a kiss? He could be nervous, or just not feeling it. Best to find out.

Original poster

oopsIdiditagaintoo · 20/02/2022 18:54

@Sally2791

You could say how about a kiss? He could be nervous, or just not feeling it. Best to find out.

Maybe see how things go on Friday. If he's not feeling it, why ask me out for a 3rd date.... Both of us have had long term relationships but he split up with his 2 years ago and has been on a few dates since. This is my first one since splitting up with ex. I really can't remember what Im supposed to do 🤣

OP posts:

Ginger1982 · 20/02/2022 19:32

Met DH online. Didn't kiss until 3rd date when I said 'you can kiss me if you want.' Luckily, he did!

Fruitandnuts · 20/02/2022 19:39

3rd date is perfect. Just linger a bit and look him in the eyes at the end of the date. He should get the idea. I kissed my now bf on 3rd date, he dropped me off and I just said ‘soooo’ and leaned in and we kissed. The first kiss was a bit anti climax tbh but after that we were fine. Previously I had butterflies with other men I dated and realised it was just lust. With my now bf there wasn’t butterflies and it was much more healthy and well paced.
Good luck, I hope you are excited but don’t be put off if it’s not fireworks straight away

LazyMareofEastown · 20/02/2022 19:48

DP kissed me about 4 hours into our first date and he stayed at mine that night (although in my defence we didn't DTD). The connection was off the charts and it happened totally organically and it was the best kiss of my life 😬.

With the few other dates I had before him, it varied from first date (there was chemistry and I like to know sooner rather than later if someone turns out to be a bad kisser) to 3-4 dates in (and only after I pretty much told him to do it! I was starting to think he didn't fancy me - he did but was just shy).

Maybe I'm just a right tart 🤣

Original poster

oopsIdiditagaintoo · 20/02/2022 19:54

We're both early 40s, so we should know what to do by now 🤣

OP posts:

KissedintheDark · 20/02/2022 19:59

I feel like a hussy - I kissed the ones I really liked on first meeting them. It seemed to work.

Jumpking · 20/02/2022 20:01

22 yr relationship ended in Apr 20.

Met someone I'd been messaging for a week July 20. We kissed within 2 hours of meeting. I love kissing, and we had a strong connection, so why not?

nutellingyou · 20/02/2022 20:04

DH and I kissed on our first date - we'd just met through OLD we just fancied each other so much. DH is notoriously slow at picking up cues or knowing if I'm in the mood for anything now so it must've been a firework moment or something 🤣

lomoloko · 20/02/2022 20:13

On the first date for me. Best to find out ASAP

musicalfrog · 20/02/2022 20:57

When it feels right?

Find the right moment to hold his gaze for longer than you normally would and see if that kicks anything off.

CaribouCarafe · 20/02/2022 21:02

For the ones I liked and felt a connection with, always on the first date but towards the end. Personally I just wanted to know if there's sexual chemistry early on rather than waste time!

StarlightLady · 21/02/2022 07:25

If you both confirm you want a second date and if you want to kiss.

JellybabyGina87 · 21/02/2022 07:27

First date.

IdontPracticeSanteria · 21/02/2022 07:27

I did kiss on cheek on first date recently. Then proper kiss on second date.

iwishu · 21/02/2022 07:28

First date

ABitOfAShitShow · 21/02/2022 07:52

@lomoloko

On the first date for me. Best to find out ASAP

Agree! I’ve never had a bad kiss turn into good sex. So, aside from liking a bit of a kiss, I use it as an early chemistry/fit filter!

Keystone76 · 21/02/2022 08:13

It’s usually always been first date for me unless there was zero chemistry and even then I have sometimes had one to see if it was there.

EBearhug · 21/02/2022 08:28

I've always been greeted with a kiss on the cheek on a first date, and one of those turned into a full-on snog and we ended up in bed. Mind you, we are organising a second date, so it was clearly good instincts on my part.

I like kisses, so I want to know early on that they're good at it, and I agree a bad kisser will probably not be great in bed so you need to find out fairly early on, if sex is important to you. One date, we got on very well on messaging, but in person - chatting was fine, but no chemistry.

grey12 · 21/02/2022 08:47

When it feels right

ABitOfAShitShow · 21/02/2022 09:08

@EBearhug Urgh. I’ve had that. Messaging for a few weeks because he lived a couple of hours away and then I went on holiday, blah blah blah. All sparkling and fun, the banter was incredible, any mention of sex suggested we were on the same page, etc. And then we met. Zero chemistry.

We’d invested a lot of time in the build up to this, and he was staying over because we’d had a few wines, so I kissed him. Nothing. In for a penny, in for a pound - I had sex with him. Nothing. Tried again to be sure. Nope. We just didn’t fit.

I digress. Sorry - it just remains such a disappointment. 😔

Original poster

oopsIdiditagaintoo · 21/02/2022 09:19

I think he's attractive (and seems lovely). I don't know if he feels the same, or if he just likes spending time with me (we have a fair bit in common).

OP posts:

WanderingLost167 · 21/02/2022 21:43

First date, need to make sure they don't kiss like a fish and that there's chemistry

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