Mother made me cry

[Cappuccino17]

My husband is away on a business trip and my parents arranged to visit to give me and the kids company. I was pretty relieved they were coming round as I have a very clingy 7 month old and 2 other kids. They were bringing food and spending the evening with us.
I texted my mum to ask what time they would be arriving, she said around 7pm.
A friend had invited me round so me and the kids set off there and I told her I need to leave around 7 and text my mum to say I'm just going round to a friend's as she'd asked how my day was going. When it got to around 6.50 I checked my mobile and mum had messaged me asking a couple of things like what food I'd like, and multiple messages and the last one read we won't come if you're busy at your friends. The previous one read reply to my messages I need to know what you would like etc etc.
I text back and also rang to say I'd be home for 7 and driving back, my mum starting ranting at me on the phone she said we won't come if you're too bust for us to visit, you just don't answer my texts and it's like you don't want us to visit you so we won't come. It really left me almost heartbroken as I didn't want to spend my evening alone. I just said but I'm home and it's 7 and I arranged to get for 7. I was very excited for you and dad to come? And she said doesn't seem like it. And I said okay don't come then if you feel that way in a really disheartened way. She then text me after the phone call saying we are coming with a kiss. And my dad rang oblivious to my mums phone conversations with me saying hey daughter we are on our way in a cheerful way.
They arrived and I ignored the previous conversations as I didn't want to bring negativity. Evening went okay but I was feeling a bit rubbish but masked it. Kids were just screaming and I was very tired. My parents helped put kids to bed and made sure I was settled for the eve. They were about to leave and my Mum mentioned the conversations and I said oh did u tell dad? And she said yep I did. And as they were leaving I said I really appreciate you coming round and just started crying. And my dad gave me a hug and said why you crying. And I said its cause mum threatened not to come and it left me feeling very isolated. Also the reason she threatened not to come was just because I hadn't checked my phone. And he said its okay now and he said to my mum not to do that etc etc. Anyway he started walking to the car and my Mum stayed near me and I said I dont want u to feel unwelcome here and she said hmmm I don't know sometimes with a huge sigh. My dad noticed my mum hadn't walked to the car so he came back and I told my dad mums doing it again, trying to make me feel bad! And just burst into tears and he's like can you just stop it to my mum.
They went home. And I was left at home with my thoughts feeling very lonely and upset. And my Mum text to say sorry. But I feel so distant now. I love my mum and she does loads for me but she has the emotional blackmailing trait ever since I was a kid I was made to feel really bad for small matters that weren't even my fault and I think in adulthood it came to my attention that mum blames me for things. I know the situation doesn't seem a huge deal but I felt really upset with the way my mum spoke to me. It shocked me when she said we aren't coming as i felt I really needed the support in the evening and she was taking it away. I can't really explain why I felt so sad. Was I over reacting or is my mum in the wrong?

Hmm this is a tough one. If your mum has had an emotionally blackmailing trait since childhood then yes, she was in the wrong and nasty. I can understand this upsetting you at a time where you felt you needed support.
I think you were probably wrong to put your dad in the middle and act a little like a tell tale. You sound under strain and easily upset, perhaps as a result of all the external factors in your life. I think you could do with toughening up a little also. I'm not saying your mum wasn't wrong, she was.. But you are sounding a bit over sensitive.

See my mum in yours
Need emotional distance
She sounds controlling

I can't really explain why I felt so sad.

On the face of it, many outsiders would find this hard to understand OP - but when you've been raised by a person with these traits, it's "death by a thousand cuts" - & understandable that you feel overwhelmed by it at times.

You need a simple technique to deal with it.
You are capable of speaking up for yourself - look at how you were able to clearly communicate with your dad.
Next time it happens, direct that speech to your mum, not your dad. "Mum, you are doing the guilt-tripping again, it's ridiculous & tiresome & I want you to stop it."

She will likely bristle & bite back - don't get into any back-&-forth when she does. Just repeat, repeat, repeat that phrase: "as I said, I want you to cut out the guilt-tripping." "You've done it all your life, you need to recognise when you are guilt-tripping me, & stop doing it."

This is called the Broken Record technique.
It keeps the focus on the guilt-tripper, & avoids getting drawn into JADE - outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain

My mother used to do similar, & I used to just swallow it down or brush it off. Until, one phone call, she came out with some ridiculous malarkey about "you love that dog more than me" & I just exploded: "will you lay off the fucking emotional blackmail" & hung up on her.
Feeling shaken, I took said dog up the back field & bumped into a neighbour pal & told her the sorry tale.
She really surprised me - she just said "good. Well done!" & changed the subject.

Surprise yourself OP. Tell her to back the fuck off - she only does it because you respond in a way she can predict, control & enjoy. Change the dynamic.

PS I definitely, 100% loved the dog more than her. He was an amazing & loyal friend who never harmed me :)

@haikyew

Your haikus are amazing
So much depth of feeling
In so few words

Thank you so much for all your replies. I don't feel so alone anymore. @ChargingBuck sorry for your bad experience with your mother. It really is tough. I will take that advice on board it will stick with me.