Petrified at starting a relationship

[Shoegal0305]

So I've been single a LONG time, around 13 years with a few disastrous liaisons in between. Feel happy on my own but always feel like something is missing. Recently experienced empty nest when DS left home and everyone used it as a reason to tell me to concentrate on myself, start a hobby, find a man etc! I guess I'm stuck in a rut. Overweight, very stuck in my ways, work a stressful job.

Then all of a sudden a family friend, who has been in my life years, and I think a lot of, told me he had feelings for me. Really took me by surprise! His wife left him a year ago, he's got children and they live with him. I never thought I'd meet someone on OLD as it's not my style and always thought I'd do it the 'old fashioned way'. So I really like him but I'm absolutely scared stiff. I'm scared to let someone in my life and see the real me, flaws and all. I'm
Scared of being hurt which I'm sure is really common? I have no fears that this man would hurt me and apart from a kiss nothing has happened. The thought of sleeping with him (eventually!!) terrifies me too.

How on earth do I get over this and enjoy it????

Anyone?

I think it’s only natural to be scared. You’ve lived your life your own way for so long that it’s normal to wonder how to adapt it for the relationship. I think you owe it to yourself to give it a go.
Talk to him, tell him honestly how you are feeling and that you’d like to take it slow, go on a few dates and see how it progresses.
Only once you’re dating him will you know if you feel ready for more and how to adjust your life to having someone in it.

Hmm. Maybe your fear is telling you something? He's only been single a year and has kids at home. You were surprised by his announcement, which suggests you'd never thought of him that way before, and may suggest that his feelings came on quite suddenly. Maybe his feelings conveniently started at just the point when he realised what a drudge it is to run a home and raise kids alone...? I'd proceed with caution personally. But then I've been single a long time too, had some disastrous flings too, and am wary of other people's 'feelings for me' - call me cynical but I read it as 'wanting something from me'. I'm not saying that's the case or that in your shoes I wouldn't date him if I liked him, but I'd be very cautious.

@Hiddenvoice thank you. I'm trying to be very honest and open but I'm really nervous!!!

@CherryAndAlmond thank you too. I've always liked him but from afar, we have been friends for ages. I'll be honest, I was only shocked as my confidence is so low I wonder what someone would see in me. I trust him. I just don't know whether I'm 'confident' enough to let someone see me as I am. Does that make sense?