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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dating apps...that old chestnut...

10 replies

willshewontshe · 19/02/2022 16:38

Story as old as time.....but here we go again

Finally met a guy that I felt I clicked with and seems absolutely lovely.

We spoke every day and had 3 dates within a week, ending with really good sex on the last date. Each date was quite involved, spent 6 hours together each date and not just the usual food/drinks.

Communication since sex hasn't been as frequent, although he did try to arrange another date 2 days after the sex, but he had to cancel last minute. It has now been 2 days since and no contact from him since his cancellation. Feel a bit foolish as I can see he is actively still on the app and swiping, so is probably looking for new dates.

What would you do in my situation?

OP posts:

mrsoverall2 · 19/02/2022 16:41

Move on. You enjoyed the sex so not all is lost and if he happens to message again then you can choose to accept or not.

Doanythingforlove · 19/02/2022 16:41

Leave it completely.

Fireflygal · 19/02/2022 17:06

Definitely don't chase. How old is he? It's such immature behaviour to ghost after sex so you have dodged a bullet.

I think spending too much time early on during dates can encourage a false sense of knowing them, when really they are strangers.

hashbrownsandwich · 19/02/2022 17:12

So it's 4 days post shag?

Original poster

willshewontshe · 19/02/2022 17:27

He is mid 30s.

It's 5 days post shag, communication was normal up until 2 days post shag when he asked to meet for a date. The date got cancelled on the day (3 days post shag) and haven't heard from him since then.

OP posts:

iwishu · 19/02/2022 18:43

I would delete him, if he's still on dating apps then he's not taking you that seriously and especially as he's no longer communicating. I expect he will get back in touch for another shag at some point, perhaps he's seeing someone else too, just ignore and delete.

Bythecooker · 19/02/2022 19:47

I would call him out on it. But I am older and not cool. But why act cool about it if you're pissed off about it.

Mermaidwaves · 19/02/2022 21:05

Yes tale as old as time and its crap OP I'm sorry, I've been there too. The fact hes still swiping but not contacting you says it all, I would forget about him. From dismal past experience I would say he will test the waters and contact you when he's bored but don't entertain him again as he will continue to act like this and drop you at will. On to better things OP

Lpc3 · 19/02/2022 21:38

I imagine he is dating multiple women and you've slipped out of 1st place.

sofato5miles · 19/02/2022 21:42

Move on. He is behaving poorly and, even if he texts now, he has showed his level of interest. It's shit but at least hd showed his colours early

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