OLD - stories of hitting it off and then meeting them in real life…

[Redberries85]

Hi all,

Just wanted anyone’s experiences of surprisingly hitting it off with someone via messaging on online dating and then meeting in real life. I’ve met someone who we have a lot on common and he appears to be a real gentlemen so far, one those sweetheart kind of guys. We’ve sent some real life photos and voice memos and our interests are quite niche but really similar. We’re messaging a couple of times a day but I’m worried one of us won’t feel the spark when we meet. I’m still chatting to other guys but honestly didn’t expect to get on with someone this well so far. Any stories from you all?!

Can definitely go either way! I remember spending 2 weeks chatting to someone online, thought we got on great, and within one minute (not exaggerating) I realised he was very very different in person and I made my excuses after one drink.

However my now DP and I clicked really well from the first few texts and it was effortless from the second we met in real life. However having been burned before, I made sure we met up within the first week of talking so I didn't waste time.

@Badbaddog

My wok has a lid

Is that a euphemism or a wrong thread?

You can get a false sense of intimacy just messaging.

Something about face to face meetings when I can feel their energy, their vibe, is just so important to me.

Please post once you've met him!

@NotRainingToday
I think it was in response to me saying
Every pot has a lid
But I am more of a wok

No euphemism here 😂

I had quite a few years ago before you could actually ‘see’ people in advance, even before email, where we had great phone rapport but met up and just didn’t gel in real life. I’m not sure I would have met my husband if I had based it on photos either- he just wouldn’t have been obviously my type, but in his case great phone rapport and then had a really good rapport when we met. I would be careful about investing any emotional space into someone you haven’t met- although the internet has made it easier to some extent - at least you can see them!!

@Redberries85

To anyone that’s replied - sorry don’t know how to do the tagging yet!

He was really small. I knew he was short and I didn't mind that. I like taller men but I liked him and the height wasn't a deal breaker, but in real life he was so petite almost like a child. I felt like a giant next to him and I'm only 5'2. Obviously he couldn't help that and he was still quite attractive in his own way. He was almost fully grey which wouldn't have been a problem but made me think he had been showing me photos that were at least 5 years old. His breath smelt of ciggies which told me he was a smoker. Not really a problem but he had gone on about how he was anti smoking, so he was a liar. Conversation wise, it was very stilted and he just rubbed me up the wrong way with some of the things he said.

The first time I did OLD, I chatted to one guy for more than 2 weeks before meeting, as I went on a short trip - we sent photos, talked about what we were doing. Then when we did meet - well, he was clearly very nice, looked fine, but was really mopy and not over his ex at all. I was looking for fun, not to be his therapist. But as we'd been chatting as if we knew each other, it was more awkward than it should have been to say "no spark, sorry". After that I kept the pre-meet texting short and sweet, suggested meeting quickly as long as they seemed normal, and did not keep them hanging on if I was not interested.

When I was OLD I tried to chat on the phone as soon as possible and if that went well then a meet. Learned the hard way initially when I spent weeks swapping emails while building what turned out to be a very inaccurate projection of her. That witty thoughtful person in the written word turned into a monosyllabic borderline rude person in the flesh.

I wouldn’t invest so much in a ‘relationship’ with someone I’d never even met or spoken to on the phone.

I met my boyfriend old in November, just when I’d given up and was thinking of deleting my profile. He’s been a breath of fresh air. Met up within a week of chatting, first date in Costa and we really liked each other. But, I was still very wary and cut the date short after an hour as didn’t want to over invest. He rang me later that day and asked for a second date within a few days and it went from there. It’s still only early days, but he’s been fantastic, and really easy to be with. No dramas and just a lovely guy.

That's so nice to hear @northernlight20
Enjoy !
Gives us all hope 🤭

Its all bullshit until you meet. I travelled six hours to meet a guy after chatting non stop for about a month.
Had a great weekend together and he was making all the noises about coming to visit me at end of month.
Then slow fade began. Ignored texts or took ages to reply. When I eventually told him to delete my number as he obviously wasnt interested he tried to blame it on his dad being ill. That didnt keep him off the dating apps though. Twat.
Honestly men will literally say whatever they want you to hear until they get what they want.

I didn't speak to my match on the phone before our first date. I am actually really shy and wouldn't have known what to say!! I was really lucky - first date I knew I was going to be with him - 12 years later we are still happily together

I met my FWB OLD, he went on to break my heart. The initial messaging was great, he was keen, chatty, very cheeky. He chased me for 3 weeks and made me feel special and like we had a genuine connection. I felt like I could tell him anything and be myself...nuts I know! We spoke on the phone and his voice gave me shivers. We met and I fell head over heels instantly, only, he didn't. I could tell the difference straight away, he stopped chasing, he became dismissive and held me at arms length in a FWB situation. Ultimately I wasnt what he was expecting, I think he built me up in his head and found me disappointing. I think this is pretty common so just be aware.

Spent a week of very intense long calls pre meeting. Met him in person and fell head over fucking heels. That was over 2 years ago. I'm spending a weekend at my parents atm and am missing him like a sad twat.

Hello anyone that’s responded on this, I had my date last night. It went well and we got on in real life too. We’re both more reserved than the messages, as most people are, but I’m glad to say they’ll be a second date and I think we’re both up for taking things slowly

Had the most interesting convos with one chap, which went on for weeks before we met. There was an instant “no” from me when we met in person. For starters, he was very effeminate (though he might be gay) but he showed none of the openness he showed in messaging (or was very reserved and emotionally a bit dead). From my further experiences, I can say there has been little correlation between messaging and clicking in RL. I actively limit messaging now.