Did he see me?

[cherriesandplums2021]

Today I was walking down the street and suddenly o saw my ex boyfriend walk past me from about 5 ft away. I was taken by surprise and said “oh” quite loudly and was about to stop and say hello but he kept on walking.

I can’t tell if he saw me and chose to ignore me/pretend he hadn’t seen me or if he genuinely didn’t see me.

We haven’t spoken in 14 months. It made me feel quite sad.

That old chestnut. I’ve been in both positions, but as the walker pasted, sometimes I’ve clocked the person I don’t want to talk to and resolved to lose myself in thought, no matter what, till the danger has passed, but just as often, or indeed probably more often, I’m genuinely lost in thought and wouldn’t notice my own mother trying to flag me down.

*the walker paster

One of the blessings of coronavirus is that I can now wear a mask all the time, and so can everyone else, so we can pretend not to spot each other on the high street.

Why did you want to speak to him? He’s an ex

I would still say hello and how are you I guess? I don’t have hard feelings against him and I don’t want it to be awkward. It just made me feel very sad. I wonder if he genuinely just ignored me as I walked past. I think it upsets me because if he did it means he’s angry with me or upset.

I suspect he is neither angry nor upset, he probably is not thinking about you in the slightest. In the words of the song "Now you're just somebody that he used to know".

If that’s true, wouldn’t you just nod and say hello? Do you think he did see but just ignore then?

Nobody but your ex can tell you whether he blanked you or honestly didn't notice you.

We could all sit around and speculate but that's all it'll be: speculation.

If you want to speculate that he blanked you, then you could go down a million rabbit holes as to why he may have chosen to blank you, but what's the point? What does it matter anyway?

You're not going to find the answers on here or by ruminating all day, so why not save yourself the head fuck, put it out of your mind and get on with enjoying your weekend.

Thank you. You’re right. I know you’re right and it’s good advice. Think I’m just feeling sad and lonely

@cherriesandplums2021

Thank you. You’re right. I know you’re right and it’s good advice. Think I’m just feeling sad and lonely

Aw bless, I hope you can find some way to cheer yourself up this weekend x

Seriously don’t dwell on this. He didn’t see you, he did but realised late, he did but decided not to engage.. only he knows.

You need to work on where you are now - what will make you feel content with a meaningful life, so you can look forward not back?

Don’t let an ex rent space in your head.

I think it upsets me because if he did it means he’s angry with me or upset.

Why would he be, & so what if he is?
You haven't spoken to or seen the guy in 14 months.
His feelings are none of your business, whether he saw you or not.
Just as yours are none of his.

I suggest you put it out of your mind & if you cannot - & I suspect you can't, because why would a random sighting of an ex cause you to post an anxious thread otherwise? - then it would help you to look into a therapy like CBT to address how you manage 'unwelcome & intrusive thoughts'.
CBT helps us deconstruct & move away from black & white thinking, catastrophising, & over-actively imagining false motivations for other people's innocuous behaviours.

Please consider this, so that you can interact with people who are actually in your life, without cross-examining yourself & giving yourself a miserable time. And then be able to walk past random guys in the street without more than a "hey - wasn't that Joe? Wonder how he's doing - think I'll have a cheese & pickle sandwich for lunch."
All this overthinking is doing you a mischief.