Would you do anything?

[kellyspark]

A friend of mine told me that a man we both know has been cheating on his wife with several young women (employees of his). He knows this man a lot better than I do. My friend confided in me because he says that the guy is always going on about how great his marriage is and how he loves his wife, and my friend is getting fed up of the hypocrisy.
Would you let the wife know in these circumstances?
For context, the married couple are late forties, and the business sees a high turnover of staff with a very young workforce so I assume this is how he gets away with it, because it's not a continual affair, just casual flings. However, word gets round and I know the wife is always the last to know having been in a similar situation. I wish someone had told me sooner and I wonder if that is clouding my judgement. I feel sorry for the wife.

Keep your nose out

If I knew for sure and was friends with her I would.

But this is second hand gossip. Be very careful.

All men .. ok most men ... given the opportunity combined with a very low risk of their partner finding out, will shag someone on the sly. Bit like a crime: he has the means, the opportunity, and the motive usually speaks for itself when it's a man in middle age (with a middle aged wife).
I expect she's supported him raising his kids while he's been developing his business. Usual story. He basks in the glory of having a good marriage with a wonderful life while he allows himself to be ruled by his dick.
With cases of syphilis rising steadily (ignoring lockdown) 'something' will catch him out in the end, no need for intervention.

Tip her off anonymously if you can. I think most people who have been cheated on would prefer to know. I wish I had known that my ex was visiting sex clubs and such like. Someone did try to warn me off him, saying he had been seen with someone else, but it was while he was married to his second wife. I should have paid attention to that. Of course his previous wives were all crazy and abused him. He was the abuser and wore many different masks to suit the situation and person. I found out what he was up to when I saw all his Google activity and then the police were involved. Wish someone had told me and saved me all the grief though.

Don’t tip her off anonymously. An anonymous note with the vague hearsay you know won’t provide the definitive proof of cheating she’ll need. She’s left wondering whether the note was malicious or somebody having a laugh at her expense or somebody wanting to get back at her OH for something else. If you’re going to drop a grenade into somebody’s relationship, do it transparently and be clear how you know what you say is the truth and with actual proof. If you don’t have any, ask your friend to provide some before you start getting involved.

You can't approach a woman you don't even know with second hand gossip. If your friend is that bothered about it he could tell her himself.

Your friend knows them more than you do. Stay well out of it and leave it to your friend to decide whether to tell the wife.

I wouldn't touch a situation like this with a bargepole.

If she was your friend, I'd say yes. If you knew this first hand, I'd consider it.

As it is, you don't know her (from what I can gauge) and you have only heard gossip. It's often the messenger who gets shot. Steer clear.

If your friends fed up of the hypocrisy why doesn't he call the man out?