My boyfriends on strong painkillers but he's depressed too. We don't live together. He took a tablet this afternoon that he should take at night. This resulted in him sleeping all afternoon. He told me to go down regardless. We'd have spaghetti bolgonse and I'd stay until tomorrow night. At 5am he text. I called and he was confused and sleepy. I said do you need back to sleep. He got angry and said I told you earlier to just come down so why are you on the phone asking me this. I tried to explain if he was exhausted and couldn't wake up I'd understand if he didn't want me there. He got moody. He then said he wasn't likely going to want to eat either. I said OK I didn't eat with the kids now and I've got all the stuff out ready. He got even more snappy and sarcastically said just do as you please.
He then wouldn't answer the phone so I went round just to try sort the situation. All his lights were off. Very odd as he always has his lamps on as he can't stand the pitch black. He looked out the window and said for f sake when he saw me. Unlocked the door and walked back into rhe house. I went in and said I just wanted to talk and hoped we could lie and just Dall asleep watching tele. He started saying further horrible stuff.
I've done alot for him financially and in every other way recently. Including paying to have his electric back on yesterday. I have provided everything from milk to stamps to full food shops. I've called places up and sent emails all to help him whilst he's in a mess. I've also funded his £80 a week smoke habit. He pays back a chunk each month but nowhere near all.
He has just let me walk home in the dark for an hour and his attitude was I didn't ask you to fucking come down. I told him I felt unappreciated and used. I'd done everything to help and I'm the only person helping him and this is how he repays me. He said oh yeah throw it all back in my face.
I've just walked home in tears and I realised he's done this 4 times since Christmas. He's horrible on opiates and his moods instantly change.
I love him to death and other times he's protective and cares for me. He always says how much he loves me.
But tonight I just know loving him isn't enough. This is abuse and I have failed to leave this cycle too many times.
I'm terrified he's going to harm himself as he's not stable. But I have got to wake up.
He has two very different personalities and I only love one of them. I have no fight left in me. I wasn't looking for a row. He told me I am a different person on the phone and claimed I brought it all on myself asking questions.
He falls asleep so early every evening and our sex life is non existent too. I need to get him out my system.