A few recent incidents with friends plus big changes in life circumstances incl a relocation have made me reflect on friendships and what I want going forward.
I'm tired of one sided relationships and I seem to have a problem when it comes to friendships with giving too much and later either getting backlash if I ever try to lean on so called close people in my life or find Im disappointed in another way. I've found people will happily lean on me, say we're very close and consider me a best friend but as soon as I've needed something, they've had an issue.
I don't have this problem with other relationships at all and am fine setting boundaries with my partner, family members etc
Can anyone relate? And if so what did you do? I've read to mirror peoples efforts but I think sometimes people give different things so it's not always easy and it's not always quantifiable.
I grew up in London and after my divorce I travelled a lot back and forth to invest in seeing people I cared about. I was happy to put in hours and hours of travel for people and at the time that was fine but it was rarely if ever returned. I now think some relationships have been really imbalanced. Even my dad for example has only visited once since I've bought my new house and only to drop his dog off for me to look after (to be fair, my dads a bit of a narcissist). I've been let down by a few people recently that I've always been there for who I thought were better friends than they are.
Any advice on how to move forward with positive energy and do things differently? I want to join some local groups and meet new people locally and start a new chapter.
Thanks in advance!