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Original poster

Confused

14 replies

thewinterqueen · 17/02/2022 13:46

So I've just started seeing someone, and we put a picture of ourselves together on social media last night. I asked if it was alright beforehand, and said I didn't want to make anything awkward for him. He gave permission, and was absolutely fine about it. We laughed and joked about people liking it and interrogating us. Anyway, I wake up today to find that he has removed the tags without telling me, and sent me a message saying he feels anxious. I questioned why he'd removed the tag, and made a joke of it, and he said he got fed up with people contacting him and asking if I was the new girlfriend. Now...am I right to be a little put out by this? I can't decide whether I have a right to be offended or not :/

Anyway, I removed the post, but still feel a little....ouch.

OP posts:
MartaFlutterButterBye · 17/02/2022 13:54

That is so odd. I mean is he odd in general? Some people aren't so keen on social media. But yes strange. I'd probably let it go as one of those things. If everything else is cool. Don't let it bother you.

Aprilx · 17/02/2022 13:54

Depends what you mean by “just started seeing someone”.

Sonaftersonafterson · 17/02/2022 13:58

I'd be a bit put out ... because he seemed fine last night with it. If he is that easily bothered by other people asking questions then I'd fuck him off. Silly behaviour.

Original poster
thewinterqueen · 17/02/2022 13:59

It's been a few months...so it is odd.

OP posts:
Bookworm20 · 17/02/2022 14:03

Well if you're his GF, surely he would just reply, yes this is my GF. and be proud to say that?

If you're not his 'GF' but are seeing each other, surely the response would be something like 'not yet, but I hope her to be'.

Makes zero sense why he was happy for the post to go up and then soon after remove the tags. It would certainly make me feel a bit put out, theres obviously more to it than he was just fed up with people asking.

Original poster
thewinterqueen · 17/02/2022 14:09

It is definitely strange, and I can't figure it out at all. I don't want to call him out on it, because I don't want to make a big thing, and quite frankly, I cannot be arsed with the drama. But I was a little hurt and still am. I know he suffers from anxiety, but...I don't feel that is an excuse...

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 17/02/2022 19:52

Stating calmly that what he did hurt your feelings isn't making a big thing or causing drama. It's 'Not getting involved with idiots 101'

If he makes a drama out of it, you walk away from him. If he deals with it in a way that respects your feelings, stick with him.

All you need to say is one sentence: When you took the tag off that photo on fb, it hurt my feelings.

Let him lead the way after that. If he can't come up with anything that makes you feel better, get out. Your feelings should be more important to him than his online presence. You can't judge your relationship on what happens when everybody's happy; you have to look at how you get through conflict together. If you can't even respect yourself enough to say how you feel, how are you ever going to find out your conflict resolution style together?

Original poster
thewinterqueen · 17/02/2022 20:07

I actually called him out, and he reacted like a child, so I have walked away. It's likely a blessing in disguise. He spoke about not knowing if he was ready for a relationship, and started sending laughter emojis. No thanks.

OP posts:
bongobingo43 · 17/02/2022 20:09

Lucky escape OP. Hope you're ok 💐

TowandaForever · 17/02/2022 20:11

That must feel awful @thewinterqueen

So sorry but at least you found out now.

Watchkeys · 17/02/2022 20:13

No thanks indeed.

Dignity and self respect intact, and free.

Well done OP Flowers

Pinkbonbon · 17/02/2022 20:16

@thewinterqueen

I actually called him out, and he reacted like a child, so I have walked away. It's likely a blessing in disguise. He spoke about not knowing if he was ready for a relationship, and started sending laughter emojis. No thanks.
Lucky escape.

If he wasn't ready for a relationship, he shouldn't have been dating. Let alone for several months.

Well done op, you spied a game player and got out.

Original poster
thewinterqueen · 17/02/2022 20:41

Thanks, ladies. I appreciate the support, because I'm still feeling a bit sore about it all. I'm annoyed with myself for falling for it and sleeping with him. I should have seen this coming before... :(

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 17/02/2022 21:55

But you have seen it, and you've responded with self respect. You can't expect yourself to see into the future, and it's a good thing to be forgiving; when you find the right bloke, he'll love that about you. Don't let this muppet make you feel bad about being you, and responding in the way you have. He's in the wrong, not you.

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