Strange behaviour… Ex wants key to new front door locks?!

[Hedgehog2254]

Hi all..

I am curious more than anything else and would like to know what others think. My ex husband and I split up last August. Things were bad at first, but now we get along just fine and our DC sees him regularly. He now has a new rented flat. The flat I live in is council, and recently they came to put a new front door in, of course meaning I have a new door key. Today when speaking to my ex about him seeing DC tomorrow, he said casually oh you could give me a spare key and I can bring her home (we were talking about timings, if I’m out) I said no I’ll get her from you if she wants to be indoors rather than out.

I found it very strange. He didn’t take his keys for here with him when we split up. But now I’m wondering if he somehow managed to have a set and just liked knowing he had them or something. And now the door is changed, he suddenly asks for a key in the most casual and subtle way, even though we have split up. I’m absolutely not being paranoid, I’m just so curious because I find it so odd that he would ask.

May I add that he has no legal right to the home so I have no obligation to give him a key. The changing of the door/lock had nothing to do with our relationship, it was just something the council did

I'd be tempted to set up secret cameras watching the door, give him a cut of a different/old key and wait to see if he tries to use it while you're out.

I'd need to know, especially as he now doesn't have a key, he may not come back to be caught in the act.

I'm going to disagree here. When my ex and I split up and he moved out, I asked him for a key. He made a fuss but I explained it made sense as he had our children three times a week and if anything happened to him while they were with him then I would need access. They were too.young at the time to use phones, reach the door handle etc. It was also useful if
either of us locked ourselves out (which he often did!). So, depending on how old your child is he might be suggesting it for that reason.

Just a thought but you should check your phone/laptop etc in case he has installed spyware…..

@TibetanTerrah

I'd be tempted to set up secret cameras watching the door, give him a cut of a different/old key and wait to see if he tries to use it while you're out.

I'd need to know, especially as he now doesn't have a key, he may not come back to be caught in the act.

This is a good idea.

Reading your reply/replies I’m inclined to agree with your thinking actually - I didn’t realise he only lived 5 minutes away and that changes things too.
Listen to your gut instinct xx

@Hedgehog2254

Thank you all for your replies. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’ve now remembered that on two occasions, I’ve come home from my daughters swimming club and the living room lights have been off when I know I know I left them on, and another time I came home from work and the living room door was not closed (I always keep it closed when out because I don’t want the cats in there) I’m very strategic when it comes to things like this and my routine, so these wouldn’t have been things I’ve accidentally done. So yes I do believe he’s been in here when I’ve been out. Creeps me tf out! I would definitely not give him any new keys. I’ve looked around for cameras or anything out of the ordinary but can’t see anything. I’ll definitely be looking into getting a security system!

Do you leave your keys hanging inside when he visits? Is there a way he was able to take a key (before) to copy? I would get CCTV or a ring doorbell if I were you (oh, I have a ring doorbell). It means I can see who comes, who goes and I can live view and it records all visits. It may be worth it, I'd be totally creeped out.

The ring with ring doorbells is that it's obvious to anyone coming to the door so you'd never actually find out if he tried to come in when you were out.

I think the hidden camera with old key idea is the best!

*The thing with ring doorbells....