I'm always forgiving DH and I'm started to get tired

[Alwaysforgiving]

I'll start by saying I'm not perfect and that my DH 99% is a good husband and father, but I'm always forgiving him for what some people would call minor and what other could call major. I've forgiven him for sexting someone, using my credit card behind my back, a bit of a drinking problem, and the latest repeatedly lying to me about not having a personal loan. Some are more recent than others and he does show to improve and never go back to whatever he said he'll stop doing, but I'm always wondering, so what's going to be next? He doesn't owe a lot of money so that's not the problem is the lying to my face when he actually knew I could access to his credit report (which he now knows about and said I have nothing to be apologise for).

My ex was like this. He would lie and lie and lie and only finally admit anything when faced with indisputable evidence. I also thought because he was home all the time I probably knew the worst of what he was up to. Then I found out he was accessing inappropriate image of children. He's shown you he's a liar OP, you will never not be second guessing.

I've forgiven him for sexting someone, using my credit card behind my back, a bit of a drinking problem, and the latest repeatedly lying to me about not having a personal loan.
I don’t know a soul who’d call these “minor”.

Minor is the price of admission to a relationship: quirks and foibles that drive you bats, like snoring or leaving the loo seat up; perhaps escalating to spilling red wine on the new sofa and putting a cushion over it, or not mowing the lawn when they said they would when the forecast is for rain the next few weeks. Little, forgivable things.

Cheating, alcoholism, stealing (that’s what using your credit card is) and lying, especially about finances which can have a huge long-term impact, are all LTB territory.

When we applied for our first mortgage, I went through all of his bank statements and payslips and at least back then it was more or less clear that he wasn't overspending on anything in particular (the only thing that was clear was that his commuting costs were crazy high for his salary). I think one of his credit reports said he was deeply in his overdraft but the one I can see today seems ok, I don't know which of the two snapshots is correct. Cam girls, porn etc... I don't see when he could be doing it apart from work. We literally sit together all evening from like 6-10.

He’s taking the piss and has no respect for you, you are enabling his bad behavior and he’ll keep doing things like that, you deserve better

Those things are not minor!

The thing that jumps out at me in your posts is that you are the adult in the relationship and he gets to be the naughty child - drinking, sexing, running up debt - safely in the knowledge that his mummy (you) will always be there for him and not be bothered about his behaviour (eg you are happy to forgive very major things that most people wouldn't).

It seems like a parent/child relationship rather than a husband/wife relationship to me.

It seems like you’re continuing to forgive the unforgivable so he continues to do it

Raise your bar about 6ft higher

@tkwal

No one EVER has a bit of a drinking problem. What you see him consume is probably less than half of what he actually drinks. The lying about everything is a habit he's not about to give up. He's OK with you having accessed his credit report..and generously says you have nothing to be sorry for ? He's right, you don't because in credit reports what's his is yours, literally...they are judged by address not by individual. You will never be able to trust him. I think you know what you need to do already, I hope you find the courage you need because he is grinding you down

This bit about debt being counted against the address not the individual is wrong. Even in marriage, debts remain the responsibility of the person whose account it is, not their spouse.

But besides that...

You cannot share your life with someone you don't trust. Of course he can hide things from you even if you spend a lot of time together.