I'm not sure if this is a trigger really but I'm going to mention some sort of graphic sex and hands over neck so I thought it would be better to be cautious
I have been seeing someone for a few weeks. He is a neighbour and we knew each other through mutuals so it was very easy. We had a lot of film nights and nothing happened. About the 5th time, we had a few drinks and had sex. Nothing really changed, he was still coming round and watching tv etc. We spent most evenings together for an hour or so and we would text through the day. It was quite nice.
I had a very busy Friday in work, and, being honest, I'd started to feel myself liking him. I do struggle with that and tend to shut down. I started to overthink and feel I was being used, so what with my busy day I didn't text him until that evening when I'd got home and had some time to reflect. He then didnt reply - he was out but he usually does send me a few messages when he's out so this was a little out of character, but not important. I went out with my friends. When I got in he had text to say he was home and I was so we agreed to get together and order a take away.
This is where it potentially gets a bit odd. When he arrived he was really drunk. Id had a few too so it wasn't that noticeable. We ended up having sex and he couldn't finish. He kept going flacid. I told him it wasn't going to work and he kept on at me to keep trying. This went on for 3 hours. At one point he went to put his hand over my neck. Then he called me a 'dirty slut' so I stopped and told him never to call me that again. He was very apologetic and said he'd got carried away so I let it go. Eventually he left, but then when he got home he started messaging me asking to come back so he can 'try and finish'. I ignored him and went to sleep.
The next day he was very embarrassed. We were talking normally but as I was thinking about it more things just felt a bit off. It had left a bad taste. I then noticed that at some point since that day before he had changed his dating profile pictures. So I just stopped replying - he hadn't asked any questions etc. I didn't hear from him again until the next evening when he asked if everything was ok and wanted to talk.
He came round and I told him I did not expect to be treated like that and how disrespectful it was. I was clear about my boundaries. He was really apologetic, embarrassed etc. I told him if he thinks of me as a slut who he can come round and treat like dirt whenever he chooses, then he needs to leave. We talked and then everything was fine. He stayed for a few hours and was very affectionate without trying to have sex. We talked about maybe going out one night.
Then the next day we were chatting and he said he wasn't going to come over today as he's tired. I was fine with this, obviously. But he then hasn't spoken to me since.
I'm now sat here wondering if I've been unreasonable or 'too much' in setting my boundaries, or whether he is the issue here and I'm better off? I'm also feeling like this is all my fault for not speaking to him that day, as it seemed to be the starting point. I'm just so fed up of this stuff!