Why does it bother me so much?

[Struggling1702]

Need a bit of a talking to. 2.5 years ago I found out my husband had had a third affair. We officially separated 2 years ago and divorce is nearly finalised.
I've been seeing someone for 18 months now, he met the kids (11 and 6) after 7 months but I'm taking things very slowly. He's only stayed over once when the kids have been here and that was Xmas day. Kids live with me and see dad EOW and one night a week.
ExH has been seeing someone around 6 months now. He introduced her to the kids after 3 months and the next time she met them he'd moved her in. He just told me today she's going to start to the school runs for him and this has really hurt. It seems to be going to fast and I feel I'm just being replaced as a mum so quickly. I couldn't give a shit about him, except that I don't feel he deserves happiness. Not after what he's done to the kids and me , both during and post marriage.
They move back into our family home in 3 weeks (me and kids have been forced out) and I just feel like they are stealing the life I should have had. My home, my kids, my neighbours... He's got it so easy and here's me all messed up and in long term therapy because of his abuse. How is it fair that he can move on so easily and I'm such a mess? 😔

Why did you and your children have to leave the marital home — surely that’s unusual? And contributes to this bothering you so much?

Let go of the idea that life is supposed to be fair. It isn't. There will be situations where you have come off better, over the years, too. And in the future.

Just accept that it's natural that this will hurt, and stop trying to understand why, or to understand his mindset. It's like having a broken leg. There's no use in saying 'Why do I have to have a broken leg? It's not fair.' You just have to be gentle with yourself and wait for it to heal.

@Skeam house is a very long story. But to summarise he earns a huge salary, I don't. I can't afford mortgage on my own and I used all my savings fighting to get him to pay maintenance. I either left or ended up bankrupt

Unashamedly bumping

I’m not surprised you’re angry.

Your husband destroyed your marriage because he can’t keep his dick in his pants. Now you and your children have lost your home and the life you expected to have but worse than that you have to watch someone else get the life you had (he will cheat on her) while another women does the school run so he doesn’t even have to do that. I don’t know you and I feel angry on your behalf.

I’m guessing he can move on because he didn’t really care as much in the first place.

He has a history of cheating and irresponsible behaviour so she' s hardly won catch of the year. l wouldn' t focus on them, leave them to it. You now have your fresh start, a new relationship, and peace of mind, build on that.

Men will always look to replace the female "household appliance" as they think childcare, school runs, domestic arrangements, etc., is below them.

He's a dick and you're well shot of him.

Thanks everyone. I know he's a dick, I know I'm better off without him but it just hurts so much. He's robbed me of the life I wanted and the life the children deserve. And he just swans off without care in the world. He doesn't worry about moving his GF in and the impact on the kids, he doesn't worry about the impact of introducing her too soon or her becoming step mum so early on. He has all the free time he wants to have a happy life and I work my arse off and raise the kids and am sooo tired and grumpy.