Lazy Husband

[Vbaby86]

I can't help but think that this isn't right, but am I over reacting?
So I generally feel like our set up is 80/20. I do 80% of everything and he does 20.
When I ask him to do things he regularly forgets, he spends his life looking at his phone to the detriment of his relationship with our 2 year old who has spent the last 6 months refusing daddy for pretty much everything.
I've done the talking, sharing my feelings, explaining he needs to put the work in with our son to build up that connection, but nothing.

Well Valentines is my birthday, he got me a vday card and I admitted I hadn't got him one, but tbh I hate giving someone else a card on my birthday.
We don't do gifts, we mutually decided a while ago. Granted his bday sucked as our dd got covid and I had d&v and his gift is delayed til March, but I do basically look after everyone all the other days of the year.

Anyway, a few weeks ago dh asked me what I wanted. I said help, I just want more help.
He scoffed.
Cue today. He is off work all week with our daughter. He went for a walk with her and his parents where she held his dad's hand the whole time.
They had snacks and came back for lunch. She then watched Black Widow and revealed that he went to his room and left her to watch it alone. So he's off work to be with her and decides to do his own thing on his own instead. First thing I am annoyed about.
Secondly I arrived home to see no washing up had been done, washing hadn't been sorted, dog wasn't walked tea not attempted.
So after a day at work and him being home (and not with our daughter as I know he went to play on his room) I come back and have to wash up, sort the washing, make the kids their tea and tidy up.
I feel this is unacceptable any day, but it's my birthday god damn it and he scoffed at me saying all I wanted was help.
I feel furious.

It’s not ‘help’, it’s basic functioning and parenting the kids he chose to make. He’s a failure and he’s making a mug of you. Good luck with that if you choose to continue to inflict this misogynistic environment on your kids along with him. Doesn’t sound like he’s trying hard to step up and do the bare minimum.

This all sounds so grim and he doesn't sound very caring. Can you go on strike? Anything he would have to do if he lived alone, leave him to do it? You seem to be the cook, cleaner and housekeeper. Maybe not use the word help. State you want him to step up and be a parent and husband.
If he thinks it is all so easy then it should be no problem for him.
Sorry you had a rotten birthday xx

You chose a dud.
You married him.
You had two children with him.
With a dud.

A lazy waster.
A shit husband.
A shit father.

This is who he is.

As advised above.
Stop doing ANYTHING for him.
Stop having children with him.

Start looking at what sort of future you want.
Look at your finances.
Assemble copies of everything and keep them somewhere safe.

Tell family and friends the truth.
Get as much support as you can.

Then plan to dump the dud for good.

Life is too short.

It’s so bleak to see threads like this every single day here. Women who inexplicably believe that they’re for serving low quality males, to be treated with contempt and used a household appliance. That any man at all is better than no man.🥴 the next generation watching and primed to repeat the example they’ve been given.

He let a 2 year old watch Black Widow? Good grief. It’s not Peppa Pig, that’s for sure.

Somewhat confused by all of the comments about Black Widow on here.

You all know Black Widow is a Marvel movie, right? It's rated 12A. Almost all Marvel movies are very mild and family-friendly.

Now of course, a 2 year old probably isn't going to show much interest in Black Widow and will get bored very quickly which is a problem in and of itself, but there isn't anything inappropriate in the movie for kids.