Help with friendships

[Alexisrose16]

So this is my first post and I wanted some advice. I don’t seem to have any problems making or keeping friends but I have problems in friendship groups.
I am always the one who gets pushed out if there is a group and I’ve had several friends fall out with me. I’m still not entirely sure why. In a group I am always the one who suggests doing something nice for someone. I celebrate my friends achievements and happy news as I’m genuinely happy for them but it’s never reciprocated.
A few examples are, a friend decided we couldn’t be friends anymore when I became single. This was my very best friend, one who I would have done anything for and who up until that point I felt would have done anything for me.
I have now been pushed out of another friendship group, one where I’ve been friends with them for over 10 years and I still don’t understand why. I do believe there are two sides to every story but there’s been no falling out as such. Just a few snidey comments when we last met up. It’s like they don’t like it when I’m happy.
I have been told I create drama but again I’m not sure how. The snidey comments were in relation to me saying how I had spoken to the girlfriend of an old friend on social media. I’m now in the same situation again where I’ve made some relatively new friends because of having a baby and already I have been getting comments.
I know some friendships are not forever but my two closest friends are in my old friendship group and it hurts to see them all meeting up and I’ve not invited. I do find it hard to navigate female friendships. I never say anything bad about anyone, I include everyone in group meet-ups I organise and I have a few very good friends.
I guess what I’m asking is, why can some people go through life without ever having this happen? To never have the drama. I’m so conscious now of not becoming part of a group because I genuinely don’t want this to happen again. But I want my children to grow up and be invited to play dates etc but from reading on here it seems like play dates only happen when you become friendly with the parents.
I hope this makes sense, I am very aware that I’m not emotionally mature in explaining this or dealing with this.

why can some people go through life without ever having this happen? To never have the drama

Because when they start to see drama, they walk quietly away from the dramatic people without involving themselves or wondering if it's their fault.

Sorry to hear this.
Are you absolutely gorgeous? It’s likely to be jealously and/or insecurities on their part, esp. as they shunned you when you became single again.

IME, women can be our worst enemies. I’ve met some lovely women who have become great friends, but I’m now initially very cautious when developing new friendships with women.

Are you an insufferable gossip, rude or socially awkward?

So what do I do? As I genuinely do not get involved in other people’s drama. I’m looking for advice as I really worry about this. It may seem small but I have a few very good friends who I would like to stay friends with having lost other people I thought were good friends. I do need to work on how I come across. I have been described as chatty and friendly so making friends isn’t the problem. One of my friends says it’s because I have more interactions with people than others.

I’m definitely not gorgeous or a gossip. I only ever say positive things and I’m genuinely very happy for people when good things happen to them. I’m not single anymore but very happy with my boyfriend and our family. But the comments I get from people I thought were friends were quite nasty. How I always fall on my feet, how I’m a princess etc etc. Even though they know I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am and yes I do believe I fell on feet when I met my boyfriend. To me he’s wonderful but they have equally loving relationships.

So what do I do? As I genuinely do not get involved in other people’s drama. I’m looking for advice as I really worry about this

You need to look to yourself and work out why you worry about the nonsense other people spout. You are actually involving yourself in the drama, by engaging in this 'They say x/y/z about me, so I have to change myself' stuff. Not engaging with drama starts with not engaging with it inwardly.

Just disregard their opinions of you. They don't matter. What do you think of you? That's the important opinion you need to take notice of.

Why do you have to be part of a "group"? Does it make you feel secure? (It's obviously not working). Can't you just have real friends that don't know each other?

If you have 5 real friends you are made in life. You have a partner and children - how can you have time or energy to waste on these people and this stupid drama, when you could be doing real stuff.

You sound afraid of fitting in and afraid of being pushed out. Develop real friendships with all kinds of very different people who will give you different perspectives on life. Just be yourself.

I’m luckily to have a few true friends, one is my partner. All the others are acquaintances.

I’m not a conformist or a people pleaser so people either accept me as I am, or not.

You’re very lucky to have five true friends, so just stick with them. Any others will be a bonus.