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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Not even a card....more upset than I have right to be

8 replies

ToBeHappy · 14/02/2022 23:08

Well I have been dreading today and am bloody glad it's almost over!!

Myself and DH not in a good place although trying to work things out. We didn't even buy each other a Christmas card so I had no intention of buying him a valentines card. Neither did I want one from him, it would all feel too fake at the moment.

However, I feel so flat and hurt tonight. What makes it worse is that we got engaged on Valentine's Day many years ago so it has always been quite special. We've never been over the top but usually just a card and he would get me flowers.

Just not sure what I feel! How can not getting something that I didn't want anyway upset me so much?!

I shouldn't have gone on FB either, full of false lives looking so perfect!

OP posts:

Jk24 · 14/02/2022 23:10

Youre overthinking it. First year I've not had a card from dh but not bothered its a commercial money maker. You didn't buy him, he didn't buy you.

Avarua · 14/02/2022 23:17

A card is a pointless piece of paper.

Elieza · 15/02/2022 00:03

Maybe he feels the same!

Although guys don’t generally think about such things, especially in a long term relationship that’s soured.

Use this as a learning experience that you do still care for him and continue to take steps to try and sort things.

Keep away from facepish. Load of bollocks.

Nomorepastry · 15/02/2022 00:34

I got nothing too, in fact this is the first time I've seen him on valentines day in 6 years. He doesn't do Christmas or birthday presents either. I've just grown used to not receiving anything and being the one to give, and I'm weirdly okay with that

Elieza · 15/02/2022 08:26

I wouldn’t be giving someone presents and cards if they gave me nothing in return. Unless he’s just lost his job or something and us skint, it shows a lack of thoughtfulness to not do things he knows you like.

MollyMalone2801 · 15/02/2022 08:29

I don't have any good advice but I do relate. I think this weekend, spoil yourself ❤

HomeHomeInTheRange · 15/02/2022 08:29

Well, it’s a stark symbol of how things are, and that is sad and unhappy. So you are probably reacting to that, not unsurprisingly.

Sorry things are so unhappy. Have some MN garage

wingscrow · 15/02/2022 08:50

Sounds like you are generally unhappy with him. The lack of card is just another symbol of a lack of care and attention.

Maybe deep down you know there is no saving this which is why you are so upset. If the relationship makes you so miserable all the time you might be better off if you just move on.

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