Not fittting in, feeling lonely and snobbish

[Crunchy]

I used to work for the NHS in a small office with around 6 other people. It was a quiet workplace, busy but relaxed and we would have a quiet laugh but get on with our work at the same time and I loved it. We would get together usually once a month for a nightout and it was perfect.

Then I got laid off due to staffing reforms and I kind of lost touch with them all after a while, we went out once or twice afterwards but it never felt the same.

I was out of work for around 6 months and I hated it, I needed to get another job instantly so I got one in a bakery factory. I now work with around 10 - 20 women who shout and ball at each other rather than talk. Conversation is always crude, full of swearing (I'm no prude but I mean proper ffing and blinding) ripping the mick out of each other and generally just being gobby. I hated it.

But I got invited on a "girls night out" so I went thinking I obviously just needed time to settle in. It was a HUGE mistake. The can't talk to each other, they shout and scream, every other work is "fuck this" and "fuck that", they're loud and in your face, half of them sound like blokes.

We went in one pub and they were shouting at a group of men who went from laughing AT us between themselves to shaking their heads and frowning at us. I was so embarrassed. The barmaid actually came across and asked "us" to calm it down .

It was just horrible, I wanted to go home and after a while they turned on me saying I was quiet and "needed a fellar" and then one of them shouted "she's probably a virgin" and they all screamed with laughter. Then another one said "no leave her b, she just needs warming up, she'll get used to us" and I was thinking I'd never get used to them and it made me realise how unhappy I was in my new job.

I hate it, I dislike them, they're all common as muck and I've never felt so ashamed in public. The kind of men that normally come up and talk to me were shaking their heads and tutting at us as if we were all the same.

I know I'm going to get called a snob now, I just hope someone understands. I'm back at work tomorow and I'm dreading it

It's an expression frequently used on here

you're only a snob if you think all working class (for want of a better phrase) people act like this. they don't, i'm sure if you were surrounded by rich people from stately backgrounds who acted in a similar way you would be equally disapproving.
from what you've said you clearl don't dislike them because of their accents,bank accounts or what part of town they live in. you dislike their unacceptable behaviour.

Well said... I know lots of people from what might be described as the lower end of the socio-economic scale who have far more grace and are far more likeable than others who are financially far better off.

to op.
you need to work somewhere else, with different people. because you are unlikely to be able to fit in. and eventually these women will make your life hell. actually being proactive aboutit. right now they are not being proactive aboutit.

Don't get hung up on the words "snob" or "working class" etc etc. These are the only words the OP could find to explain how she felt.

I know exactly how you feel- I am quite reserved, though not a prude, but feel overwhelmed by loud people, no matter what class they belong to! I alos wonder why they are so insensitive that they can't see how their behaviour is upsetting to others.

This is a bit of a watershed- there must be other jobs out there you could do. Why not start looking for one now and just try to rise above any comments they make/have made today? If you know that you are about to leave when you find that job, then it might be easier to sit it out. If you can't find a job right away, have you thought about temping? It might tide you over.

BOD, very well put. Becaused it might be easy to turn this sort of thread into 'chav-bashing' when what's actually the issue is insensitive and even agressive rude behaviour - a similar example might be city boyw from ancient families being utterly vile to restaurant staff, throwing food and groping, etc.