Hi,
My wife and I have been together for 17 year and married for 10.
Approximately 6 years ago I noticed that she was struggling, uncharacteristically snappy and sleeping constantly, it was obvious that she was depressed. Initially she refused to go the the Dr's but with the help of her Mum, we finally convinced her to go. We are unable to have our own children, something she desperately wanted and I've always felt that this was the catalyst.
As anybody who has been in a relationship with a partner who suffers from depression will know, it's difficult, you are often going it alone and over time it can take it's toll.
Over the past 18 months, her good days now outweigh the bad, however she seems to have created a bubble completely devoid of responsibility and stress, which she's happy to remain in. She tends to rely of me for everything and it's draining.
She does work but far less hours than me and she gets a lot of time off but I'm still expected to do the most. She seems to have gotten used to doing very little and being cared for and although she's in a better place now, she'll spend most of her days off lying around and relaxing and I have to start the household jobs and cook for us when I get home. My close family and friends have also picked up on this and have pointed it out.
I've spoken to her and asked that she help me out a little more but she becomes defensive and says that she can only cope with work and that I don't understand how she feels. I admit that I have always done too much for her, she is my first love and I naively put her on a pedestal and spoilt her, so I'm not devoid of responsibility.
I work long hours working for myself, I'm renovating our home, I look after livestock and do the majority of the household chores. I love her dearly but it's becoming exhausting and I feel that if I continue like this, I'm not helping either of us.
Has anybody been in a similar situation?