Can I have your thoughts?

[Hundemor]

I feel embarrassed about posting this but please bear with me, I have my reasons.
If you found a receipt from a Wetherspoon pub with two transactions on it , one just over ten pounds and the other £10.65 what would you think they represented?

For context, the person paying the bill was in the pub in the middle of the day, and not drunk on arrival home nor home later than late afternoon. The person doesn’t have a super sized appetite so very unlikely to have eaten two meals. And in an area recently moved to so absolutely no friends or family present or likely to be and no, not at all likely to strike up a random aquaintance and pay for them.

I’m sorry, I realise this sounds cryptic and possibly foolish but I don’t want to risk causing bias; I’m very much doubting my own judgement and I’d like honest opinions.

Any thoughts please?

OP, the preferred drink of real ale is around £2 -£3 a pint, or less- what??? I haven't been to Spoons for years, but surely pint these days costs way more than £2-3?

I had a quick look at the menu and it's £5.30 for a large glass of wine.

2 rounds of drinks with 2 glasses per round?

To me it looks like two drinks and then another two drinks. Large glass of wine is around a fiver, or a double spirit and mixer. So two people having two drinks.

You can still get a 99p pint at Weatherspoons. Not pure Real Ale but a pint of larger.

If it's £5+ for a glass of wine, 2 glasses of wine for two people would make up the amount on the statement wouldn't it... Sorry.

Relationship sounds very toxic. Do you want to leave?

If, you know, just leaping in with this because I know what some (not all) men can be like, if there's an outside chance of it being drinks with an escort would he actually have the means to pay for an escort without you knowing about it?

Can you go into the wetherspoons and say you think you left your credit card in there on that date... you think it was that date, but could they please check on their system because two transactions came up on your statement on the same day and you want to find out if someone picked it up and used contactless.... Give last name and last digits of credit card number.

@Hundemor

I’m asking mumsnet, and trying not to write in such a way as to bias replies because my husband - you correctly guessed that - stonewalls and gaslights to a degree that , like many who post here, I doubt my own judgement and reasoning, which normally is quite considerable ( background in sciences ). Pathetic really. Or, to put it succinctly, there is no point in asking him: because He can’t remember. Or the statement shows a mistake Or if I tell him what answer I’d like, he’ll give it.

Actually at present he doesn’t know I’ve checked the statement

Doesn't sound that healthy anyway tbh. Even if the Wetherspoons trip turns out to be innocent, is this really how you want to live?

Thanks Linguini - I’ll give more context and add bias to your judgement, oh well.

This happened last summer. Two months after moving to a new area. I became extremely unwell shortly after moving. At the time I’m describing I had been diagnosed but hadn’t started treatment. I was certainly too unwell to travel from our rural home to the city.
My husband went on the pretext of exploring the city - fair enough, he certainly needed to get out and about - and look at laptops. All fine and he mentioned having lunch in Wetherspoons.
On New Year’s Eve I discovered via that old cliche, the text message, that he was in contact with his ex wife. Short lived youthful marriage, no children, divorced 20 years.
I found a few emails he’d omitted to delete. Not romantic, but very chatty and a lot of detail about their lives ( and mine ) eg blow by blow account of a Christmas gathering we’d had. She brings up a hook from the past in every one of hers eg ‘ I still have a photo of us on that night do you remember ‘ to which the reply was ‘ I only had eyes for you, you looked stunning ‘.
Despite his protestations that he’d done nothing wrong I think we can all see where this was going.
And he admitted, under duress, that they had been in contact since early last year only he can’t remember how they reconnected or who made the first move.
So, although there’s the small matter of around 500 miles between them, I’m wondering if they managed to meet.
Or if I’m bonkers.

I think the only way you’ll be able to know for sure is to check with him. Is it a joint statement that you would be able to see or is it something you’ve gone and checked?
Everyone here can only speculate, I know you say he will make excuses and gaslight but only he can really answer it for you.
If you’re unhappy and think he’s messing about then you need to speak to him, tell him how you feel and then decide yourself if you want to carry on this relationship.
I hope for you, it’s just a matter of him maybe having to order through the app etc. Hope it all works out well!

Oh dear. Not bonkers.
How's your health now? I hope the treatment worked/is going well? Has he supported you?

Well... Sadly it looks a bit like he could have got a round of two glasses of wine each for him and someone else, it does look a bit like that doesn't it... Only someone VERY keen would travel 500 miles for some Weatherspoons Chardonnay though.

Do you have kids together?

I’m inclined to agree Linguini, mind you apparently she does have a camper van and loves travel.
Thank you for asking about my health, really. I’m much better but the condition is incurable and I’m to a degree disabled. It changes things and is another ingredient in this hellish brew.

I’m quite sure that those questioning staying in an ‘ unhealthy ‘ relationship mean it kindly ( I’m sorry if I sound patronising I’m not at all ) but , although something like this does, to paraphrase another poster, blow out the light in a relationship and it can never again be the same, sometimes circumstances mean it is difficult to leave; but one stays albeit under a very different emotional shift, where practicalities outweigh attachment. I haven’t yet decided what I want to do or more importantly, what, given my physical state, I can do.
And I know mumsnetters can only speculate, but don’t underestimate the value of brainstorming. My mind runs in circles and other peoples insights really help.
Most of all, I need to know how much of my life has been a lie. My husband should be honest, but he won’t be. Affirmation that I’m not way off really do help.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense, it’s late!
Oh, and no children.

If the info you have is on a credit card statement and you don't have the actual receipts - could it be that the transactions were on 2 consecutive days but, by some processing quirk, they appear on the statement as being on the same day?

There's a chance there's a completely innocent explanation for the spoons outgoings, but if you think it's suspicious for your OH I think you should monitor everything closely from now on; maybe keep notes, or a diary of what he does, so you can refer back if needed.

Given your position though, quite what you do if you do find evidence of cheating, only you can decide, but I hope there's no further instances that make you suspicious.

Maybe his ex wife was in the area and they met up for old times sake, so perhaps a one off?