Me vs family well-being

[runningfromreality]

Classic... me or family well-being?

Husband earns well, I earn a pittance having sacrificed my career to kiddos.

Relationship is crap, we have no sex life, I don't trust him (porn, sleep abuse etc), it's essentially a loveless marriage.

I stay because I have no clue how it would all look if we split.

We have a large house. I couldn't pay for it. How does that work? He has a flat, we have a tiny house which I have to work full time to pay for?

Or we stay as we are. Works for everyone except me.

Aargghghh

I know you need to think about where you will live etc and that’s tough but realistically, do you want to stay? If you’re unhappy and can’t trust him do you think you can make it work?
Have you spoken to him about it all and how you are feeling?

Feel the fear and make the break from him. Would also suggest you get legal advice because after all knowledge is also power.

If there is no trust there is no relationship anyway. Putting other people first at your expense likely comes from wanting to parent please a difficult and or otherwise emotionally absent parent (which was impossible to do and not your fault).

Your children know that things are not great between you and dad and their home is also not the sanctuary it should be.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here?. Your children cannot afford to learn such damaging lessons about relationships; do you really want them to think that a loveless marriage could be their norm too?. You're both showing them that happy relationships for them are not their birthright.