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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband just walked dog shut through the house

26 replies

amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:03

And thinks it isnt a problem. His blase attitude stinks more than the dogshit.

He came in from being out with dd, i sat playing with her in front room while he proceeded to go about his business in the kitchen and then upstairs. He complained a couple of times that he thought he could smell sick(!) and that maybe dd had been sick on him.

40 mins or so later he came and sat next to me and dd on the sofa and the stench was both overpowering and unmistakable. I noticed he still had his shoes on. I dont like any of us to have shoes on the rug in the living room as this is where dd 9 months plays. He disregards this as ridiculous and does it anyway, which i accepted a long time ago.

Turns out there were substantial shit prints through the hall, dining room and into the kitchen where they faded out. But he’d also then walked on the rug in living room and all upstairs, so who knows where it is!

I understandably(?) was upset about this. I feel it was a perfectly normal reaction. For the record i didnt shout but i did probably come across stressy. It wasnt even directed at him, it was more focused on getting it cleaned up.

He thinks im being unreasonable for being upset about it and now all the focus is on how ‘childish’ i am that im bothered about dogshit in the house, as its ‘only dog shit’

All i wanted to do is get on and clean it and he wanted to challenge my reaction. He doesnt like any form of emotion in this situation.

To be honest im just sick of him policing my ‘reactions’ I think i can objectively view if im reasonable or not and i dont think i am.
But i do then become infuriated that the whole thing becomes about me and i did go in to get annoyed and frustrated. We’ve then had a huge argument.

Why couldnt he just say - oh bloody hell what have i done, sorry how do we clean it up.

Maybe i am being unreasonable.

Not sure why im posting here, just feeling a bit fed up and alone. Not because of the shit., because i feel like we’re on a completely different page at the mo.

And also if anyone has tips on cleaning up? Ive obviously cleaned and moped the woodwn floor, just dont like the thought of anything lingering on the carpets thats not visible

OP posts:
amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:04

That should be dog shot

OP posts:
amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:04

Shit 🙈

OP posts:
Gooders1105 · 13/02/2022 19:09

That would be really annoying! I’m surprised he’s not cleaning it up; he brought it in. Of course you’re annoyed because it’s dangerous for a 9 month old to be exposed to dog faeces.
It sounds as if it’s more than that. The fact that he is challenging your reaction and walking around the house with his shoes on when you’ve expressly asked him not to is really inconsiderate and suggests to me he doesn’t respect your views. Not good.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 13/02/2022 19:09

And also if anyone has tips on cleaning up?

Surely he's not letting you clean it up?

The only way i know of to get poo out of carpets is to use one of those machines.

Rubbing it just rubs it in more, surely?

Finfintytint · 13/02/2022 19:10

He’s an unthinking sod who chooses to blame you. It’s so easy not to tread dog shit through the house. Give him the task of cleaning it up. Show him this thread….he’s a dirty fucker.

Cissyandflora · 13/02/2022 19:11

That’s an LTB right there.

sadpapercourtesan · 13/02/2022 19:15

Selfish arsehole Angry

This would really upset me. If he's not immediately cleaning it up himself, then he's basically telling you that it's your job. That's what he thinks you're worth. Scrubbing shit out of the carpet while he pleases himself.

This isn't the first time he's been a selfish bastard and expected you to pick up after him, is it?

Unanananana · 13/02/2022 19:15

You make him clean it up, filthy twat.

He has no respect for your home, and even less for you. Yuck.

amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:18

He did tried to clean it up (starting with his shoes!) but was cleaning it with cleaning wipes.
I needed to know it was cleaned up properly for dd sake, so chose to do it.
I could go on about how did he not notice etc but its more the fact that he started an argument that i was upset about it. How is it childish to be upset about dog shit through the whole house when you have a 9 month old.
I just felt overwhelmed with how we were going to sort it.
Once i walked in the hall i could smell it everywhere

OP posts:
TyrannosaurusRegina · 13/02/2022 19:21

Dirty pig, insist that he takes his shoes off from now on. This is why I hate shoes in the house, you never know what you're bringing in.

amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:22

For those asking he does 50/50 of all jobs and childcare, so i cant complain on that. And he didnt expect me to clean it up, i chose to so that i could make sure it was to a standard i felt comfortable (although i dont feel comfortable about it having cleaned it myself)

In general our relationship is great 90% of the time but we do have an ongoing issue where we clash on how he thinks i react too emotionally. He is a very logic driven person and doesnt deal with any kind of emotion in arguments

OP posts:
TheMissingMango · 13/02/2022 19:22

He walked dog poo through the house, got cross with you for being upset and then the big man child couldn't even be bothered to clean it up properly and left you to deal with it?

What a dickhead.

If he leaves you to cook his dinner too, I'd be serving him a plate of his own shit shoes.

amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:24

@TyrannosaurusRegina i absolutely do want to insist this from now on. It will be telling what his response is

OP posts:
CottonSock · 13/02/2022 19:25

Disgusting pig.
I'd get the carpets done by a professional cleaner ASAP.

femfemlicious · 13/02/2022 19:25

Ill never understand why people wear shoes indoors honestly. Your husband is an asshole of the highest order!

amidsummernightsdream · 13/02/2022 19:25

How do i make him see that me being upset was a ‘normal’ reaction?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 13/02/2022 19:30

That’s just gross. I have dogs and I wouldn’t like it spread around the house either

Your reaction is not over the top. It’s the right one. He’s being disrespectful and disgusting

user1481840227 · 13/02/2022 19:35

@amidsummernightsdream

For those asking he does 50/50 of all jobs and childcare, so i cant complain on that. And he didnt expect me to clean it up, i chose to so that i could make sure it was to a standard i felt comfortable (although i dont feel comfortable about it having cleaned it myself)

In general our relationship is great 90% of the time but we do have an ongoing issue where we clash on how he thinks i react too emotionally. He is a very logic driven person and doesnt deal with any kind of emotion in arguments

Can you give any other examples of arguments where emotion comes into it?
AnyFucker · 13/02/2022 19:38

My dad used to do this kind of thing then act the fucking innocent and wonder why people were “over reacting”

He has abused my mum all her life. Now they are elderly, he is frail and relies on her care, she does things like throw cups at him in frustration

This is your future and all the while your kids are being set a very fucked up version of how relationships should be

Shoxfordian · 13/02/2022 19:40

Why are you the one cleaning it up?

Foolsrule · 13/02/2022 19:42

He’s disgusting. How stupid not to realize sooner! And then to try and distract you from the severity of what he’s done by saying you’ve overreacted!!! Bin him off, Op!

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 13/02/2022 19:47

It is disgusting and there’s no way you’ve over reacted - I’d have been furious

For cleaning, I have used carpet cleaner that you spray on and a soapy cloth / sponge (binned afterwards) and even then sometimes sprayed anti bac multi surface cleaner over the area too afterwards and just let that dry out. But that’s after my digs having a poo accident where it’s just picked straight up. I’d be inclined to make him give it all a thorough scrub with the carpet cleaner spray and a brush to make sure in case it’s trodden in

TirisfalPumpkin · 13/02/2022 19:51

These men are always ‘great 90% of the time’ and then there’s this massive BUT.

He’s using strategic incompetence. You want it cleaned right, so you have to do it yourself. He could Google it or do what you’re doing, ask on a forum or phone a friend. Honestly those cleaning wipes are awful for the environment and a gift to half arsed manchild cleaners. LOOK I WIPED IT.

You can’t make him see your reaction is reasonable. You can’t make anyone feel anything. It is concerning that he invalidates your feelings all the time & tone polices rather than listening to you.

(If it’s on carpet I reckon soapy water, clean water, and a stiff bristled brush, probably take a couple of goes to get it out. You could have a gin and tonic while he’s doing that.)

Mimilamore · 14/02/2022 13:50

This would really anger me... I say at least 3 times a day take your shoes off when you walk through the house but like your husband he thinks I am being a nagging, neurotic woman. Dog shit is horrible anyway but where children play is the pits. I really feel for you but have no answers sadly...
My husband never seems to see it to avoid it either where I have shit radar...

Justcallmebebes · 14/02/2022 14:26

And THIS is why I hate people wearing shoes indoors