Advice on how to get over break up

[Ksmr]

Can I get some thoughts on this please...my partner for 14 years decided on 2/1 to break up with me. We have a 6 year old. The bit that is killing me is him saying he'd been thinking about it for a couple months. But 18/12 he joined a running group. Christmas day he went for his second run. He ends up seeing a 'friend' he'd known about 20 years ago. He then joins another running group that she's in. So that's the background. The killer is he finishes with me on the 2/1 then messages her 5/1 and asks her out for a drink. She said she's not interested in anything right now as she's just come out of a relationship. He follows it up with if/when she's ready he'd love to go for a drink. He thinks she's lovely. I know he's done this after he finished with me but it's killing me and now all I'm thinking about is them hooking up. Any advice on how to get over this?? I have to stay amicable for our child. He wants us to stay friends but I'm finding it really hard because my brain is in overdrive. Apologies for long story.

You don't have to stay friends with him, you just need to co-parent effectively. You can tell him that. What he wants is irrelevant once he's dumped you.

I've told him I don't want to be friends after finding out what he did but it's more the constant thoughts in my head of them getting closer so soon. It just hurts me so much.

How do you know that he messaged her and what was said?

I'm so sorry, that is a very hurtful blow, especially as you have a child.

All I can say is, the pain will ease with time. For now all you can do is go through the motions of every day life. One day you will wake up and realise it hurts no more.

All the best.

Ugh god thats awful. As for repetitive thoughts going round and catastrophising...I can only ly really suggest wither mindfulness? Or maybe that would just make it worse. Or just making sure you always have something to do, someone to see, some nice events planned in to look forward to and let time pass. Sorry I can't be more helpful x

I'm great at getting over break ups

Lots of baths
If you're crying go for a walk
Ring people, but ask if you can dump your emotions first
Think about what you could do differently next time.
Definitely meditate as it will give your brain a break.
Write down all your fears and resentments, it's not a journal, don't dig deep, just every morning and night write it down and get it out of you.
Exercise
Think of something you can do to make the space you're living in feel like yours again.
Get your mates round for takeaways if you can't cope with going out.
Plan a summer holiday with a friend and their dc.

Don't beat yourself up about anything. Treat yourself with kindness. Get in ready meals so no cooking or loads of washing up after.

Put yourself to bed by 10 every night. Get a structure in place, routine and structure will really help you.

How awful. And talk about jumping from the frying pan. I feel your pain as I have recently left someone and it is hurting me but we just have to take a day at a time and try move forward.

I think accepting its over is the hardest part but it is and to be fair to him he ended your relationship so he could move on. That is preferable to cheating on you. You know where you stand, he is no longer interested in a relationship with you.