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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help with procrastinating husband

3 replies

Gigitree · 13/02/2022 15:59

Not sure where else to get advice on this as family and friends aren’t really much help and I don’t know what else to do.

back story as concise as I can manage

Ever since we first got together (15 years ago) my husband has always said in the future he would like to be a property investor and eventually retire from his 9-5 and pursue this full time.
He’s tried attending various training courses to support this endeavour and regularly joins webinars to try and brush up on his knowledge.
A few times in between different 9-5 jobs he has attempted to go for it and buy a property to refurb etc. but has always (essentially to be blunt) chickened out. Then time goes on and still he doesn’t do anything about it. But every now and then he will blow up and have a huge meltdown saying how he hates his job, wants to quit and do property investment but then now we have a child he feels like he can’t just take a big risk like that etc and then talks himself out of it.

now It just feels like fucking Groundhog Day and I’m sick of it. I’ve always been so supportive and told him to just go for it, helped out investigating this but of legislation, going to training courses etc with him, apart from actually fully learning about property investment myself and doing the work for him, I’m not sure what else I can do.
He probably thinks I’m being the most unsupportive bitch wife ever, but I honestly just cannot hear it anymore.
I don’t want him to be stuck in a job he hates for ever, but if he really wants to something else then he just needs to go for it and stop fucking talking about it and driving me bananas!!
He goes on and on about not having enough time, but then there’s plenty of time when he’s just sat scrolling on his phone (I know we are all guilty of this, me included) and I can’t help but think if he really wanted to do it, he would just do it.

I’m a SAHM so if he did quit his job we wouldn’t have an income which would obvs put the pressure on.

Anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

OP posts:
Liz1tummypain · 13/02/2022 17:40

Well like you say, I think the fact you aren't bringing any money in and you have yourselves and a child to raise is what holds him back. If he really can't stand his job maybe he should look for an alternative salaried job that would give you all some security, give him some new challenges, and maybe provide him with some insight into the thing he wants to do. Or just anything new for a breath of fresh air. I don't know how old your kids are but maybe you can start some part-time work before long to take the pressure off him. No magic answers I'm afraid. Hang in there!

GeneLovesJezebel · 13/02/2022 17:45

Don’t pay any notice or encourage anymore.
I have a DH like this, and it’s one of the many reasons he’s on the way to being an ex DH.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/02/2022 17:50

Unless you have a tremendous amount of savings, him walking away from his employment to purchase a fixer upper may not be the best idea. He needs to stop complaining and moaning, though.

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