I’ve just ended my marriage

[Itsnotokay123]

He’s done it again.
Cocaine

He’s promised over and over and over again that he won’t do it anymore, I’ve always accepted it and moved on.

He’s been out with the boys for the footy said he’s be home not long after and came home at 1am

Went down stairs to see what he’s doing and there’s a bag of coke on the sofa and the living room floor. Where our son plays.

He lied and lied about it.

I’m done.

I'm so sorry, what an arsehole. Are you 100% sure it's over? Will he recognise it's over in the morning or will you face a battle?

I hope you manage to get some sleep

@Itsnotokay123

He’s done it again. Cocaine

He’s promised over and over and over again that he won’t do it anymore, I’ve always accepted it and moved on.

He’s been out with the boys for the footy said he’s be home not long after and came home at 1am

Went down stairs to see what he’s doing and there’s a bag of coke on the sofa and the living room floor. Where our son plays.

He lied and lied about it.

I’m done.

Take photos

He’s taken the little bag and flushed it

The bag here is the one I put water in to test for drugs to prove I was right as it had while powder in

Sorry you're going through this.

Are you ok? What are your plans now?

I have no idea what my plans will be now,

I don’t want it to end but this has been going on years - I can’t see our life with out Coke. It’s occasional use. I’ve always said how much I hate it and do not want it in our home. He brought it and used it where our child plays. He lied over and over again about it.

I’m so lost and confused

Knowing you have right on your side will keep you going. It isn't safe for your child to live with him, and access will need to be supervised (and not just by his parents).

The cocaine is more important than you and your son are, to him. He probably hasn't thought of it like that but that's what his behaviour shows.

So. There's a lot of organising to do to. Is there someone who can help? Mum, sister, friend?

Have you told him to leave? Are you intending to go elsewhere yourself?

The fact that you even have the means to do a drugs test is severely abnormal in the first place.

You need to make sure you see this through with actions not just words and then drifting into everything continuing.

Stay strong. You can’t risk your child coming into contact with that, which will clearly happen if your husband places it where your child plays! And he’s lied continuously about it. He’ll be sorry no doubt but cannot be trusted to control himself. Talk to whoever you can in real life. You’re doing the right thing

See it through this time.

I’m terrified

We’ve got a 2 year old together, the dream home, a great relationship apart from the Coke.

He’s all I’ve know for the past 13 years. My entire adult life has been with him

I’m so sorry OP. It’s the lies that have destroyed things as much as the drugs.

If you leave him and mean it, it might be what is needed for him to turn it around in the long run. You and your child deserve better

To put a child at risk like this would be an immediate end for me. Your child could have died if they had got hold of that. You’d both be in jail.

He’s a drug addict. End it.

You're doing the right thing. It may be occasional use, but the way cocaine is produced means your H is directly supporting organised crime and exploitation of vulnerable people. He is also taking zero care to ensure your toddler is protected. Both these things are appalling and social services would be interested in the latter.

Ultimately he prioritises coke above his family and that is why you should absolutely end it. You will be so much better off without him.

At least you know you really have no choice.
Recognise that and educate yourself to allow that fact to remove any guilt you have or come to have

He had a choice
Your child doesn’t and thankfully you are being a decisive strong mother

You say you have the dream home, a great relationship without Coke .

No offence at all but you don’t trust him , he lies and decides you and would leave drugs in your home . It’s not about the Coke .
He doesn’t respect you or value you and your son because if he did - he wouldn’t repeatedly let you down.

I have been here ! My ex partner couldn’t help himself . He was always going to stop . Was the last time . Why couldn’t I chill out . It wasn’t harming anyone !

In the end I realised it wasn’t the Coke - it was him !!!
He was choosing to put something else above the person he loved even though he knew the pain it caused.

So really - this is far from a great relationship. I’m sorry OP

Coke , alcohol, porn

They aren’t evils ! They become evil when a loved one priorities them over their family .

I spent years trying to ‘fix’ the problem , blaming myself even at times !

Walk away and find someone who puts you first - then exist !

So sorry to hear this. I feel your pain as my now ex was a drinker.. leaving drugs around kids is a child protection issue.. you need to get out asap

I don't blame you that shit could bring all sorts of trouble to your home including cops letting themselves in with there big red key,!! Not forgetting that's cash he could have spent on your child,!!