Mum tum and a new man

[Pixxie87]

Hi everyone,

I’ve had 3 kids my last child being 2 years ago. I am not overweight I’m petite and slim but I have a mum tum that I can hide when wearing clothes. But I’m now in a new relationship and we are planning a night away in a hotel and I am sooooooo nervous and scared about what he will think of my tummy. It’s not toned and is like jelly :( Im worried he’s going to be disgusted and not want to see me again :(
Any advice for me?

Advice for your confidence is nice underwear, nightie etc. Something to wear during sex to give you confidence that you're not all on display. If he has a problem with it, then that's a different story. Just think that he is lucky to be with you, and your body is great as it carried three children. It might sound trite, but it's true. Have fun!

Unless he is totally stupid and very inexperienced, he's going to know that after 3 kids you won't have the abdomen of a 30yr old gymnast.

I have a saggy stomach - it's been very rare for me to meet a man who's been turned off by it. Mostly they are just thrilled to be in bed with a naked woman!

If you think it will help you feel more confident and relaxed on the day, could you look for a basque or chemise that you can pull down to free your boobs but leave your tummy covered?

That was meant to say 20yr old gymnast, but I'm sure you get my point!

I understand this fear, I had it too but my new man (now my DH) couldn't have cared less. It was ages before I would actually let him see me properly naked, and he knew why and eventually he gently said he wanted to see me fully naked and when I did...he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world! He's continued to do so even though we've since had a baby ourselves and that resulted in a horrible c-section scar and overhang so it's even bloody worse now but like he said to me, when he's having sex the last thing he's thinking about is my wobbly tum

So I get it and I echo the suggestion of some nice flattering underwear to give you a bit of confidence, it's all how you carry yourself.

Almost exactly same situation. When we were having a cuddle the other day I made him feel my pouch and said he does realise I've had 3 babies? He said of course he does and it doesn't bother him etc. That's given me a boost and kind of pre warned iyswim

Ok this is not for everyone but when I met my DP I just went all in.

Lights on, clothes off - take it or leave it. I had a (huge) baby 4 years earlier and my body reflects that.

If he didn't fancy me after then that's his problem because fancying someone is down to 100s of factors and i don't have time to waste on a shallow man!

It's been almost 2 years since then and he often says how much he likes my tummy (and all of the others bits).

I think if I was dating a man who was bothered- I wouldn't be for long!

In all honesty any turn off would be more about your self consciousness rather than the squishy bits themselves. I second those saying that he will just be happy to get intimate with a naked woman.

You made 3 whole humans fgs, only a shallow arsehole is going to say ugh and leave, and before that point you should be slamming the door behind him.

He may have worries of his own, whether he measures up or can perform or make you happy so try to relax!